boob - HecklerSpray

Tulisa Runs Away To USA Where They Don’t Have The Internet Or Sarcasm

March 29th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Leave it! Two two’s naaah! Tulisa Contostavlos is fleeing the UK to hide away in the US after being repeatedly mocked over her sex tape with MC Ultra. Mainly because she doesn’t appear to be very good at giving gobbles.

The X Factor judge is planning to escape by heading to Miami to visit ?Terius Nash (or, The-Dream to you) who clearly doesn’t have the clout to be sarcastic about her sex tape and indeed, mustn’t have an internet connection like the rest of America.

So what’s The Female Boss (Female Nosh more like) saying about it all?

N-Dubz Fazer Incoherently Vomits Into Twitter Concerning Tulisa Sex Tape

May 31st, 2013 By Mof Gimmers

We’ve all seen the ALLEGED Tulisa sextape by now, haven’t we? If you have she’s ALLEGEDLY not very good at blow-jobs. And she ALLEGEDLY likes hitting herself on her ALLEGED forehead with a penis.

Anyway, it’s all gone a bit mental and injunctions have been taken out, Dappy has said it was definitely her in the video and that it was bandmate Fazer who had his widger on show.

So what does Fazer have to say about it? Well, in a baffling missive, Fazer has vented on twitter in such a manner that he may well have been typing with his cockie.

Obligatory Mention Of Tulisa’s Sex Tape

May 31st, 2013 By Mof Gimmers

So, Tulisa has a sex tape does she? Of course, lawyers are saying it isn’t her (although the video contains someone with the exact same DNA as the X Factor judge, it seems) and everyone is hastily taking down stills from the video.

That’d be the video which has Tulisa’s dead-ringer sucking what appears to be (actually is) an engorged male member. Apparently, the phallus whacks her on the forehead at one point, which is always nice.

But of course, legally speaking, it isn’t her… despite what Dappy – her bandmate and cousin – said on twitter, dropping her right in it. Just think of that. Watching your cousin’s sex tape. How very, very tasteful.

Begin The Self-Harming! N-Dubz Have Split!

March 16th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Oh god, all of our worst fears have come true. Worse than being trapped in a lift with Kris Akabusi and Ainsley Harriot… worse than watching a sex tape with James Blunt… N Dubz have split up.

We’re uncontrollably upset. This is grade-A grieving. Snot bubbles, sticking heads in the oven, scratching the eyes out of photographs uproarious sorrow.

And how did we find it out? Why, through the portal of sin, Twitter. And once again, Tulisa was the one doing all the talking.

Tulisa Hits Miami Strip Club And Gets Pictured With A Massive Boob

February 29th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Tulisa Contosatvlos is many things. She’s an average singer. She’s got stuff written on her arm which sounds like female empowerment, but doesn’t actually make sense. She’s a TV judge. She’s a perfume vendor. She doesn’t know what rock music is.

Ostensibly, she’s the new Alesha Dixon then. Weight Watchers awaits.

Either way, Tulisa has gone off to America to record her solo album and while she was there, she went with her team to a strip-club to see some female bosses giggling their shop-floor around in people’s faces. While she was there, Tulisa was photographed with a boob right next to her face! CRIKEY!

Marc Anthony Didn’t Like Jennifer Lopez Because She Was Attractive In The Presence Of Others

July 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The news that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were getting divorced saw unprecedented sorrow in the hecklerspray hovel. We couldn’t believe that such a perfect couple had split without reminding us that they were an item in the first place. Very distressing.

So what caused this awful rift between two gulpingly attractive superhumans?

Well, Jennifer Lopez made a massive, massive mistake. She forgot that you’re only allowed to be attractive while wooing your husband. After that, you must stop being attractive at all, even if your work depends on it and, dare we say it, that was the thing that attracted your beau to you in the first instance.

Taylor Momsen Engages In Lewd Lesbian Acts At Barcelona Gig

July 8th, 2011 By Kris Silver

You know that Taylor Momsen, that teenage girl who acts seems to spend most of her life acting like a bit of a slag, wearing too much eye makeup and singing in that band that you still haven't heard of? Well she's been up to her old tricks again.

The Pretty Reckless singer, who used to be some sort of television star had previously gotten her underage baps out at a gig, gave a rather steamy lapdance to a female fan at a gig in Barcelona and even allowed another fan to give her chesticles a good ol? fashioned grope.

ROCK N? ROLL!

Oh Look! Jennifer Lopez’s Nipple Would Like To Say Hello To Everyone At Home

June 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Celebrity boob enthusiasts! We don’t mind if you don’t want to read these words and get straight to the mammaries. Yes. There’s a picture of Jennifer Lopez’s right boob over the jump. Honestly. Go straight there. You’ll miss some jokes but the traffic is all good.

Right. For those of you who remain and want to see what words we’ll write about J-Lo’s right buster, we’re all poised like a coiled sponge to disappoint.

So what’s happening? Well, the American Idol judge allowed her bubular to hang out while appearing on a German TV show, clearly enjoying the fact that they’re all sexually liberated over there with their porn films, hairy genitalia and their penchant for tanga briefs.

Andy Dick Arrested For Drug-Centric Booby Fondling

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Some people would consider it an honour to have unfunny sitcom star Andy Dick yank down their top and grab their boob.

Sadly, those people – who we’ll assume have some sort of aggressive cognitive dysfunction – weren’t around yesterday morning when Andy Dick was arrested for sexual battery after, you guessed it, fondling a girl’s boob and yanking down her top in a bar. With some drugs in his pocket.

Andy Dick’s arrest has raised a number of serious questions. Questions like ‘Has Andy Dick fallen off the wagon again?’, ‘Who’s going to employ Andy Dick after this?’ and ‘Andy Dick fondled a girl? A girl? Are you sure it was definitely a girl? Wow, who knew?’

Jay-Z Eats Beyoncé’s Boobies

March 24th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Aww, a newly-wed couple, isn’t it a wholesome sight to see?

They say love will last forever between couples who are destined to be soulmates, or in the case of many UK women, until a footballer’s money runs out. Jay-Z and Beyoncé have a problem based on their career choice of being musicians. While they’re not locked away in a studio, they are off around the globe touring at various gigs and festivals.

It appears that poor Jay-Z is missing his darling wife so much, he’s turned into a love-struck puppy. At a recent gig in Nigeria, he asked on his rider for a melon to be split in half and transformed in to a replica of his wife’s boobies. We just have one question: Are Beyoncé’s boobs green, sweet and edible?