Articles tagged with: Bono
Play One Bullet, With Bono, Chris Martin, Brandon Flowers and Gary Barlow
Look at the picture. Really look at it, drink it in. Go on, keep looking. Look at Bono singing his heart out, look at Chris Martin putting effort into his performance. Jesus, look at Gary Barlow, he’s brought along some water. And who’s that on the right? It’s Brandon Flowers. He’s a Mormon or something. Look at him. Keep looking at him. Now look at all of them. Keep looking. It’s amazing. Now look away. Now look back. Now away. And back. Away. Back. Away. Back. Away. Back. Away. Away. Ha! Gotcha! Now be sick.
Look at the picture. Really look at it, drink it in. Go on, keep looking. Look at Bono singing his heart out, look at Chris Martin putting effort into his performance. Jesus, look at Gary Barlow, he’s brought along some water. And who’s that on the right? It’s Brandon Flowers. He’s a Mormon or something. Look at him. Keep looking at him. Now look at all of them. Keep looking. It’s amazing. Now look away. Now look back. Now away. And back. Away. Back. Away. Back. Away. Back. Away. Away. Ha! Gotcha! Now be sick.
U2 Announce World Tour Dates, World Shudders A Little Bit
This is a public service announcement. U2 are about to tour their new album. Please seek shelter immediately, and may God have mercy on our souls. In news which people who like music are describing as "Oh God, really? That's just awful, is there any way we can stop this? A petition or something? Anything?", U2 have announced the details of their upcoming tour, during which they are expected to play U2 music while singing U2 lyrics. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then we can only assume you like drinking tea made from poison ivy leaves, with skunk sperm instead of milk and cat dander instead of sugar. U2 are terrible, is what we're saying.
This is a public service announcement. U2 are about to tour their new album. Please seek shelter immediately, and may God have mercy on our souls. In news which people who like music are describing as "Oh God, really? That's just awful, is there any way we can stop this? A petition or something? Anything?", U2 have announced the details of their upcoming tour, during which they are expected to play U2 music while singing U2 lyrics. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then we can only assume you like drinking tea made from poison ivy leaves, with skunk sperm instead of milk and cat dander instead of sugar. U2 are terrible, is what we're saying.
U2 Goes Reggae, World Impatiently Waits For An Apology
The world is split into two: those who don't think U2 experiment enough, and those who have working brains. If you're in the second group, start digging your bunker now. It's been reported that U2 aren't content to limit their experimentalism to simply releasing grammatically-incorrect concept albums about footwear - they're bringing out a reggae album soon, too. A terrible idea, we know, but it'll be worth it when U2 tour. You don't see 50-year-old Irish midgets follow up impassioned IRA songs by saying "This next song's called Demma Bad Bwoi Duppy Man Ting (Irie Pussyclot Ting)," too often, do you?
The world is split into two: those who don't think U2 experiment enough, and those who have working brains. If you're in the second group, start digging your bunker now. It's been reported that U2 aren't content to limit their experimentalism to simply releasing grammatically-incorrect concept albums about footwear - they're bringing out a reggae album soon, too. A terrible idea, we know, but it'll be worth it when U2 tour. You don't see 50-year-old Irish midgets follow up impassioned IRA songs by saying "This next song's called Demma Bad Bwoi Duppy Man Ting (Irie Pussyclot Ting)," too often, do you?
U2’s Bewildering Spider-Man Musical To Open Next Year
You heard it once and thought it was a good joke; you heard it again and thought it was a bad joke, and now it's true. The U2 Spider-Man musical is happening. Despite being the weirdest thing ever been announced, the Spider-Man Broadway musical - with music by U2's Bono and The Edge - will open in New York next January. That's right - the Spider-Man musical is by Bono and The Edge. But don't worry about the other two - Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr will be debuting their new Condorman musical next February outside the Basingstoke branch of Clinton's Cards. At 4am. Drunk.
You heard it once and thought it was a good joke; you heard it again and thought it was a bad joke, and now it's true. The U2 Spider-Man musical is happening. Despite being the weirdest thing ever been announced, the Spider-Man Broadway musical - with music by U2's Bono and The Edge - will open in New York next January. That's right - the Spider-Man musical is by Bono and The Edge. But don't worry about the other two - Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr will be debuting their new Condorman musical next February outside the Basingstoke branch of Clinton's Cards. At 4am. Drunk.
U2 Aren’t Ever Splitting Up, So Sorry For Ruining Your Day
If you ever wanted to see a day when U2 are basically a group of old men repeating themselves time after time, then... Hey hang on a minute! U2 already are basically a group of old men repeating themselves time after time! Well that's our opening line buggered up, then. Anyway, if you want to see U2 even more decrepit and creatively strapped than they already are, then you're in for a treat - U2 are never splitting up. Ever. It's true - The Edge said so. And you shouldn't doubt a man named after a horticultural barrier, because that'd be stupid.
If you ever wanted to see a day when U2 are basically a group of old men repeating themselves time after time, then... Hey hang on a minute! U2 already are basically a group of old men repeating themselves time after time! Well that's our opening line buggered up, then. Anyway, if you want to see U2 even more decrepit and creatively strapped than they already are, then you're in for a treat - U2 are never splitting up. Ever. It's true - The Edge said so. And you shouldn't doubt a man named after a horticultural barrier, because that'd be stupid.
U2 Set To Ruin 2009 With Five Versions Of Their New Album
After being sidetracked with a few things, such as trying to end all world evils and finding out where the boogieman lives, Bono has returned to his 50-bedroom mansion to concentrate on churning out another U2 album. Bono and the other members of U2 have been threatening to release No Line On The Horizon for a while now and finally they’ve delivered the bombshell with a March 19 2009 release. Is one new release bad enough? No, Bono has to be an extravagant twat and release it five bloody times.
After being sidetracked with a few things, such as trying to end all world evils and finding out where the boogieman lives, Bono has returned to his 50-bedroom mansion to concentrate on churning out another U2 album. Bono and the other members of U2 have been threatening to release No Line On The Horizon for a while now and finally they’ve delivered the bombshell with a March 19 2009 release. Is one new release bad enough? No, Bono has to be an extravagant twat and release it five bloody times.
WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 28 October 2008
10 - More election crap. It'll be over soon, promise... 9 - Is it just us, or is Kanye West's new album not very good? - Pitchfork 8 - Why Stu's beard rocked, despite popular opinion - Biggerbetterbeard 7 - A song about Paris Hilton being president, performed by Paris Hilton. We're so tired ...
Matt Damon Has Another Kid: Hasn’t Sold it Out Yet
Matt Damon has gone and done that thing where he gets a woman pregnant and she shoots out his spawn a few months later. Had a kid - that's the one. We even told you about the pregnancy, as we're nice. This newest one brings his tally up to three of the little blighters, meaning Matt Damon is now the (presumably) proud father of three daughters, the newest one to the clan being named, in a trademark celebrity cruel-o-fashion, Gia Zavala. Oh well, at least it isn't a new brand of carpet or anything. Luciana Damon, Matt's wife no less, is originally from Argentina though so there's a possible explanation for the name there. Maybe they aren't as cruel as we initially thought... Nevertheless, there is a new sprog to add to the pile and surely some money to be made from the pictures that will inevitably get sold off to the highest bidder, as we all know. Unless, of course, Matt exercises some show of integrity and doesn't force his newest daughter to become a mercenary from birth.
Matt Damon has gone and done that thing where he gets a woman pregnant and she shoots out his spawn a few months later. Had a kid - that's the one. We even told you about the pregnancy, as we're nice. This newest one brings his tally up to three of the little blighters, meaning Matt Damon is now the (presumably) proud father of three daughters, the newest one to the clan being named, in a trademark celebrity cruel-o-fashion, Gia Zavala. Oh well, at least it isn't a new brand of carpet or anything. Luciana Damon, Matt's wife no less, is originally from Argentina though so there's a possible explanation for the name there. Maybe they aren't as cruel as we initially thought... Nevertheless, there is a new sprog to add to the pile and surely some money to be made from the pictures that will inevitably get sold off to the highest bidder, as we all know. Unless, of course, Matt exercises some show of integrity and doesn't force his newest daughter to become a mercenary from birth.
