Bonnaroo - HecklerSpray

Kanye West's stock in trade is furious, barely-legible indignation about people not realising that he's the greatest human in history, but he's outdone himself this time.

Not so long ago Kanye West performed a set at the Bonnaroo music festival that didn't go so well, possibly because he kept his crowd waiting for eight hours before finally dragging himself onstage at about 4:30am. And since Kanye West is a sage so wise that he rivals all of history's greatest thinkers, he's taken to the internet to construct a well-considered explanation for the mix up.

Just kidding – Kanye West's gone batshit! Properly, 94-exclamation-marks-in-a-row batshit. All-capital batshit. Confused, badly-formed batshit that doesn't make any sense. Hecklerspray commenter batshit. We're scared.

Over the weekend 100,000 or-so Tennesseans were all excited as they huddled around a stage waiting to see their new god, Kanye West, float down from a cloud and moonwalk or something.

Kanye was quite busy though, apparently. He made his congregation wait an hour and a half before he showed his face. In his defense, maybe he was flossing or something after a day of eating only Mike & Ike’s. If you’re gonna get your dentals sufficiently clean that would really take at least an hour.

But the fans didn’t care, and some of them may have even regretted not buying that 50 Cent album instead back when the race was on.

We’re just kidding about that actually – for that to happen he’d probably have to show up late and fire a machine gun into a crowd of babies. Seriously – desperate measures would be needed. Still – the crowd almost stormed the stage by all reports.

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