There are plenty of good things about London’s O2 arena. For one, it’s situated on a windy peninsula.

Then there’s the material. The exterior dome of the arena is made of a PTFE-coated fibreglass, which can become slippery when subjected to rain. And then there’s the fact that, at its highest point, the O2 arena is 170 feet high. Bon Jovi played on the roof of the O2 arena yesterday, so it was too much to ask for them to lose their balance on the fibreglass surface, topple off the roof and shatter several bones in the process.

But did that happen? Did it hell. Once again, Bon Jovi continue to be a staggering let-down.

Remember when The Beatles played a brief set on top of the Apple building in 1969? Well, yesterday Bon Jovi had a shot at replicating that spectacle, with just three changes:

1) Instead of the Apple building, Bon Jovi played on top of London’s O2 arena,

2) The Beatles are an unimpeachably important landmark in the history of popular music, while Bon Jovi is a terrible band made up of idiots with awful haircuts,

3) Nobody cared.

But still, to mark their 12-date residency at the O2, Bon Jovi yesterday became the first band ever to play on the venue’s roof. Which, however you look at it, isn’t that impressive – it’d be just as easy to be the first band ever to play a set at the Sutton Coldfield branch of Nando’s, or be the first band ever to play a set wearing flippers at a nursing home, or the first band ever to play a set with cats Sellotaped onto their faces like pirate beards. What’s our point here? That Bon Jovi is a terrible band, haven’t you been reading. The Telegraph reports:

Missed the performance? Don’t worry, you can always do the next best thing by putting some Barbie dolls on top of your garden shed, walking so far away that you can barely see them and then paying a homeless man to whisper a selection of bad 1980s soft metal songs at you. Perfect.

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10 – Brad Pitt advertises liquid. In Japan. Like a fool – Holymoly

9 - 24 Twitter birds, all of which are far lovelier than the original – Luclatulippe

8 – So HERE’s why U2 have been killing themselves promoting their new album – Popjustice

7 - And now, the world’s most exuberant Bon Jovi fan – Best Week Ever

6 - Some giant paper robots having a fight – Vimeo

5 - Want to make an Ottomon out of a suitcase? OK! - Instructables

4 - There’s a Twilight board game. We’re scared – The Hater

3 - Visual proof that Jennifer Aniston has left the country – Popsugar

2 - Apparently Danny Boyle is doing My Fair Lady next as well – EW

1 - How long before this appears on a commercial? Answers in milliseconds, please…

As a member of Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora's life is mainly about pedal-to-the-metal rock and roll rebellion. And dodgy haircuts.

But anyway, back to the rebellion. Time was that to be a rebel you only had to get drunk and drive around in your car for a while. But now that everyone from Paris Hilton to most of the stars of Lost have done that, the bar had to be raised. Which is why Richie Sambora apparently got drunk and drove around with his own 10-year-old daughter in the car with him.

And now Richie Sambora might be hit with child endangerment charges for it. How many times, Richie? You should only get drunk and endanger the lives of your passengers when your passengers are the other members of Bon Jovi, not kids. That's just stupid, although the Bon Jovi thing really should be actively encouraged.

If Richie Sambora could learn one thing from being in Bon Jovi, it's that driving along a road is a suitable metaphor for life. Crossroads, Lost Highway, Seat Next To You, Born To Be My Baby, It's My Life – all songs that very clearly state that life is like a road. However, hardened Joviists – once their brain medication wears off – will be able to tell you that not one of these songs mentions veering about this road all shitfaced with a terrified ten-year-old girl in the passenger seat.

Richie Sambora needs to do some boning up on the wisdom of Bon Jovi, in that case.

Although Richie Sambora's struggles with alcohol are well known, possibly stemming from having to balance having the world's most complicated love life with being in the world's most fist-gnawingly awful band, up until now he'd managed to avoid combining getting hammered on booze with bombing around in a car with his own daughter in it.

But on Tuesday night that's exactly what Richie Sambora was arrested for. The New York Daily News reports:

Rocker Richie Sambora could face criminal charges of child endangerment after being busted on a DUI charge Tuesday night. Cops in Laguna Beach, Calif., tell us they're investigating whether there's enough evidence to hold the Bon Jovi guitarist responsible for putting his 10-year-old daughter, Ava, and another child at risk. Police pulled over Sambora, 48, at 10:52 p.m. on the Pacific Coast Highway after spotting his car "weaving within lanes," Laguna Beach Sgt. Jason Kravetz tells us. "The officers smelled alcohol on his breath and did several field sobriety tests. He failed [all of them] and was arrested."

Richie Sambora is due in court on May 7, although he's yet to be charged with anything pending results of a blood test. If the tests do test positive for alcohol, though, the extent of Sambora's fall from grace will be immense. Of all the boneheaded things you could possibly do, weaving around on a road drunk with your own child on board is right up there with trying to dislodge pieces of biscuit from plug sockets with your tongue and, well, being in Bon Jovi.

Hopefully this arrest will have some long-term benefits, though – the shock should be enough to sent him back to rehab where he can take his recovery seriously. Plus if Richie Sambora ends up going to prison, Bon Jovi won't be able to release any more albums for a while. Great – if only more acts we didn't like seriously endangered the lives of their own children while drunk. Oh Johnny Borrell, when will you have children just so you can almost drive them into a tree?

Read more:

Richie Sambora busted for DUI – New York Daily News 

A Bon Jovi fan has launched a $14 million (£7 million) compensation claim after he was paralysed at a gig in Edmonton, Canada.

Initial rumours suggest that Dennis Schulz suffered a dislocated spinal cord when he was crushed by an overpowering force of mediocrity that had been building like a whirlwind, reaching its destructive crescendo somewhere between the second chorus of Bad Medicine and the opening chord of Always. Schulz reached a level of boredom that scientists refer to as ‘The David Gray Effect’, where mind and body becomes so aware of the dullness of the immediate moment that the spine gives up on you, and tries to flee the body.

However, further research into the matter revealed that this was not the case, and that the injuries was caused by Schulz getting caught up in a brawl. Initial reports suggest that the crowd became so overwhelmed with the mediocrity of the situation that, in what scientists call ‘The Collective David Gray Effect’, where the mind and body become all too aware of the collective dullness of the immediate moment, that the only effective therapy is to lash manically out at the bored soul standing nearest you.

However, further research into the matter reveal it is almost totally unclear as to what sparked the brawl.

Schulz has filed his lawsuit against four fans, staff, promoters and the venue in Edmonton, but not the band, who have got away with it scot-free. Guitarist Richie Sambora, 48, commented:

"Oh god, we're really, really sorry."

Read more:

Paralysed Bon Jovi Fan Sues For Compensation – Contactmusic

[story by Paul Sorrenti]