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The World Of Music Almost Loses Lee Ryan
By Matthew Laidlow on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 5:00pm | No Comment
The World Of Music Almost Loses Lee Ryan It’s at this point in this story where we would make some sort of tasteless joke about Lee Ryan.
You know, we may bring up that ridiculous quote of his around about elephants and 9/11. Or we could mock his inability to warm up some fish fingers when he was on I’m A Famous Person On The TV, Come Look At Me Cook!
But we won’t do that. You see the world of popular music nearly lost its number one bruv and all round crap speller Lee Ryan. So distraught are we by the news that he was nearly mowed down by a car, that we’ve ordered a wreath of flowers spelling out 'biggest bellend in pop' anyway. Forgive us as we go to Runcorn’s community hall to lay them. The Staples Centre in LA is annoyingly being used.
Lee Ryan Rows With MySpace Lover, The Big Tool
By Matthew Laidlow on Monday, June 29, 2009 at 11:30am | No Comment
Lee Ryan Rows With MySpace Lover, The Big Tool Joy Division once grimly said that love will tear us apart.
It’s almost like Ian Curtis was the Nostradamus of predicting how long couples will last. Sitting in a specially adapted room, he’d glance at a pair of lovebirds before uttering “six months”, “forever” or “half an hour”.
One person who could have benefited from this genius prediction system is born-again popstar Lee Ryan. Our favourite taxi driver beater and failed chef has appeared to have a very public tiff with his lover Samantha Miller. Ladies, dust off your seductive lingerie - the clueless moron could be back on the market!
Our Favourite Boyband Blue Reforms For The Summer!
By Matthew Laidlow on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 11:30am | 4 Comments
Our Favourite Boyband Blue Reforms For The Summer! At hecklerspray towers, nothing quite gets us excited like the opening of a bottle of beer and a sausage roll from the local bakers.
Apart from rubbish PR requests from companies, nothing really gets us going in the morning.
Now, we weren’t fed tons of money to promote this to you, but we thought we’d do the world some good and announce this to you all. Blue, the boyband who had hits like All Rise and er… a few others including that one with Elton John are coming back. We aren’t sure if new material is going to be recorded, but we can see them this summer at least!
Lee Ryan Out The Running For Father Of The Year
By Matthew Laidlow on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 at 12:00pm | 11 Comments
Lee Ryan Out The Running For Father Of The Year For ages, hecklerspray believed that the most intimate act a married couple could engage in was the exchange of saliva when ramming their tongues down each others throats.
However, we were proven wrong when we were told that a couple can prove their love for each other by 'creating a baby'. This literally knocked us back, throwing into disarray our previous notion that a child is created using flour, the tears of an orphan, vanilla extract, nail clippings and the sweat from a man/woman depending on what sex you wanted the child to be.
In days gone by, people would takes months to even kiss each other - never mind engage in any sexual goings on. Having a baby would only happen a good few years after marriage, under the eyes of God and surrounded by an approving society. However, we now live in a culture where a girl will flash her tits for half a pint of lager or for a couple of cold chips.
So just imagine our disgust when we found out our number one celebrity fan and all round grasper of swear words Lee Ryan has left his pregnant fiancée of eight months.
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