Stalkers, it's time to raise your game – boxes of dead flowers and jizz-covered photos just won't cut it anymore, not now that Jodie Foster's stalker wants to blow up some airports.

OK, before we get too ahead of ourselves, let's make it clear that the man in question is only Jodie Foster's alleged stalker and that he's only been arrested on suspicion of threatening to blow up just one airport in a handwritten letter.

But either way, Jodie Foster gets all the luck, doesn't she. Never mind blowing up an airports, we'd be happy enough if someone just wanted to trump in a monkey's eye to prove their love for us.

Sometimes you just need Jodie Foster to show you how things are supposed to be done. Not all things, admittedly, just how to be a lesbian and scoring yourselves some top-grade wicked creepy stalkers. But that's enough for now.

Because in that last field alone Jodie Foster is world-class. Forget about throwing rocks into people's gardens or mailing lavender-coloured sex aids to prove that you like someone, when Jodie Foster gets a stalker they'll literally shoot the president of America in the stomach to prove it. That's what happened in 1981 when John Hinckley Jr tried to assassinate Ronald Regan in a bid to impress Jodie Foster, anyway. Flowers would have probably been more appropriate in hindsight.

And if one deranged stalker wasn't enough, it looks as if Jodie Foster has got another one. A man named Michael Smegal was yesterday arrested and charged with mailing a bomb threat – he too once had a thing for Jodie Foster as eFluxMedia reports:

Smegal had sent a hand-written letter to Van Nuys Airport and other local airports containing bomb threats, as well as references to Academy Award-winning actress Jodie Foster. Federal prosecutors said it was very similar to about 100 other letters mailed to people in the Los Angeles area since September 2007.  According to an affidavit by Boston FBI agent Joseph H. Altman, the letter that led to Smegal’s arrest yesterday had been addressed to Van Nuys Airport on Dec. 6; a single sheet of paper was found in the envelope which bore no return address, with the hand-written message “Jodie Foster S” and “going to be a gas bomb this building,” the Globe reports.

Why did Michael Smegal want to blow up an airport? Simple, according to an alleged confession it was because he though that the Screen Actors Guild had offices there, and he wanted to punish it for disparaging remarks it had apparently made about Jodie Foster. 

Now he's been arrested, though, Michael Smegal faces 10 years in jail. It's thought that threatening to bomb an airport only carries a maximum sentence of 18 months in jail, but having more than a small amount of passing professional respect for Jodie Foster carries and eight and a half-year sentence, so it all adds up.

But, really, who knew that Jodie Foster had such a furiously obsessive fanbase? To be honest we're a little scared of posting anything disparaging about Jodie Foster now, in case she has a secret third nutty stalker stashed away somewhere. So, for the record, we liked Jodie Foster in Silence Of The Lambs. And Panic Room. And Inside Man. And The Br… The Bra.. The Br… no, we can't do it. The Brave One was a bag of old cocks. Please don't bomb us, loopy Jodie Foster fans.

Read more:

Alleged Stalker of Jodie Foster Arrested for Bomb Threat – eFluxMedia 

To have a successful TV talk show you tend to need a niche – Oprah has her self-help, Jerry Springer has his confrontations and Maury has his berserkoid ADD DNA tests – but none of them angrily blow up teenage girls.

That's where Montel Williams steps in, though. Although Montel Williams has plenty of his own niches already – like being the only highly-decorated military talk show host, and the only occasionally-suicidal multiple sclerosis-suffering talk show host – he's now also the only talk show host who, when asked interview questions he doesn't like by teenage newspaper interns, screams "I'm a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up!" at them, before realising he's made a bit of a fool out of himself and apologising, which he's just done. But at least it's a step up from Montel Williams' other niche – being the talk show host who looks most like Ming The Merciless.

2007 hasn't exactly been a golden year for the daytime television talk show. In Britain a judge likened The Jeremy Kyle Show to 'human bear baiting', while elsewhere Oprah Winfrey managed to successfully open a child abuse factory masquerading as a school for clever girls. And, whisper it, there's a chance that Jerry Springer might be the teensiest bit staged.

But Montel Williams has managed to keep his head above all the dirt by continuing to go about his business as usual; rescuing teen prostitutes, offering reasoned discussion about the emotional impact of being transgendered, violently threatening to blow up teenage newspaper interns just for asking him questions he didn't like the sound of, that sort of thing.

The last one of these happened in Savannah on Friday, when Montel Williams was promoting free prescriptions for the poor. However, Montel terminated an interview with Courtney Scott, a high school intern at the Savannah Morning News, after she innocently asked him if restricted profits would stop pharmaceutical companies from investing so heavily in research and development costs. At the time, Montel responded to question with this:

“I'm here as a patient advocate talking about the fact that medications available today are saving people's lives, that's what's saving mine and after that, this interview is done."

And then, later on, Montel Williams and Courtney Scott managed to bump into each other again at a hotel. Although Scott was there on an unrelated assignment, Montel thought she was trailing him, and got a little bit angry with her, her crew and pretty much the entire universe in general. According to a web content producer for the newspaper who was accompanying Courtney:

“As we were preparing to film, Montel walked up with his bodyguard and got in Courtney Scott's face pointing his finger telling her ‘Don't look at me like that. Do you know who I am? I'm a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up’. At this time he was randomly pointing at all of us.”

Such was the ferocity of Montel Williams' outburst that Courtney Scott later filed a police complaint about it. But at least Montel Williams now admits that he did wrong – not just for threatening to explode a teenage girl but also for making the factually-incorrect mistake of calling himself a big star, when really it's only the elderly and unemployed who know who is is with any degree of certainty. Montel has now put out a statement apologising for the incident:

“I mistakenly thought the reporter and photographer in question were at the hotel to confront me about some earlier comments. I was wrong, and I apologise for my overreaction.”

Not only that, but Montel has also invited Courtney Scott and her family onto his show to apologise to her publicly, as part of a special entitled I've Learned That Screaming Angry Terrorist-Style Threats About Blowing Up Teenage Girls Is Wrong. And, if the negative publicity persists after that, Montel Williams will check into a rehab facility for men who want to explode young girls and then apologise directly to Al Sharpton, just because he figured that's what everyone else does in this sort of situation.

Read more:

Montel Threatens To 'Blow Up' Teen Reporter – MSNBC