World’s Soul Screams Unending Cry Of Agony As Blink-182 Reform
God, why do you hate us so? If we made a human body out of all the music ever written, then
Beethoven,
Mozart and that lot would be the brain. The strong right arm would be made out of bits of
Led Zeppelin and
Black Sabbath. The speedy legs would be stitched together from pieces of
Napalm Death,
Slayer and
Crazy Frog.
We’d probably use
U2 and
Coldplay for the testicles.
And
Blink-182? We’re seeing them as the long, black hair sticking out of that suspicious mole on our back, that keeps annoying us by getting snagged when we put our shirt on.
Shanna Moakler Splits With Travis Barker. Again. Again. Again.
Did you know that Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker had got back together? No? Do you know who Shanna Moakler is? No? Well shame on you. This is big news. How big? Former drummer of annoying pop-punk band splitting up with the wife he'd already divorced once a year ago big. That's as big as it gets. Probably.
Anyway, Shanna Moakler has split up with Travis Barker for possibly the billionth time. Usually at this point we'd say it was the kids who we felt most sorry for, but it's not. It's us who we feel most sorry for. Us.
TV Review: All the Small Things, BBC1, 31/03
You might think that creating a TV programme off the back of a song by a guitar-based pop group was a bad idea, and you’d be right, mostly. All the Small Things won us over quite early on with a choral rendition of Bond theme Nobody Does It Better. It is a shame that the rest of ATST didn’t quite live up to the high bar they’d set themselves.
Blink 182 Bloke Angry With Drinks Company
Remember Blink 182?
Despite only disbanding as recently as 2005 (apparently), this trio of punk-pop muppets were really big in the year 1999, which led many to believe that a global technogical meltdown at the turn of the century would have been preferable to hearing All The Small Things one more time. Alas, it wasn't to be, and album Enema Of The State (do you see what they did there? Do you?) went on to sell approximately sixty million billion trillion copies the world over.
You'd think, then, that the Blinksters would be a relatively chilled-out bunch these days, happy to kick back and watch the odd royalty cheque pop through the letterbox. Unfortunately, you'd be quite massively wrong - because the band's former drummer Travis Barker is mightily pissed off about something and he wants the whole wide world to know it.