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Blake Fielder-Civil

Crack Addicts Unite For Blake

by Matthew Laidlow

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, tough, tough, huh, huh, huh, and when the going gets tough, the tough gets ready yeah, ooooh, doo da doo da. Sorry, we got ourselves in to a bit of an old-fashioned sing-song there.

You see, when the going gets tough, everyone at hecklerspray unites as one to sing that Billy Ocean classic. Be it debt, demonic possession or running out of pens, we always do our best to help each other out. It seems that the celebrity world is no different. Apparently, these so-called famous people also have feelings like us mere mortals. And in another mind blowing piece of news, it seems that Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty weren’t wrecked out their faces to start the C.U.N.T campaign. To me and you, that means Celebrities United against Narcotic Treatment. And it’s all to do with freeing Amy Winehouse’s banged-up husband.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, tough, tough, huh, huh, huh, and when the going gets tough, the tough gets ready yeah, ooooh, doo da doo da. Sorry, we got ourselves in to a bit of an old-fashioned sing-song there. You see, when the going gets tough, everyone at hecklerspray unites as one to sing that Billy Ocean classic. Be it debt, demonic possession or running out of pens, we always do our best to help each other out. It seems that the celebrity world is no different. Apparently, these so-called famous people also have feelings like us mere mortals. And in another mind blowing piece of news, it seems that Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty weren’t wrecked out their faces to start the C.U.N.T campaign. To me and you, that means Celebrities United against Narcotic Treatment. And it’s all to do with freeing Amy Winehouse’s banged-up husband.
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Amy Winehouse Slightly Screechy At Blake’s Court Date

by Stuart Heritage

Ask anyone what they'd least like to happen to them during a court appearance and 'Amy Winehouse turning up late with a weird haircut and loudly screeching her love' would figure pretty high. But that's what Blake Fielder-Civil had to deal with during a court date on Friday about his assault and perverting the course [...]

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Does Blake Want To Divorce Amy Winehouse?

by Stuart Heritage

To the naked eye, Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are the perfect couple, in that while they’re together they can’t go round making slurring pikey babies with anyone else.

But there might be trouble in paradise – according to Amy Winehouse’s father, Blake has a habit of screaming things like “I want a divorce” at Amy Winehouse during arguments and now their marriage is dangerously on the rocks.

Let’s hope they’re just rumours, though, because watching Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil squabble for custody of a tatty trilby, a beehive wig that smells of gutters and enough drugs to down a herd of elephants would be quite traumatic for us.

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Celebrity Divorce Betting Odds: Madonna, Jordan, Jolie & Winehouse

by Stuart Heritage

Ready for some more chances to make money from unhappy celebrities? Step right up.

We’re starting 2008 as we mean to go on, by crossing our fingers really hard and hoping that just about every celebrity couple in the land gets divorced and spends the rest of their lives wallowing about in abject near-suicidal misery just so we can make £12.50 from a lucky stab at a bet. And when we say ‘we’ we really mean ‘you’. It’s £12.50 that you didn’t have before, at least.

So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Jordan and Peter Andre, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar and Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil. Help, as ever, comes from Paddy Power…

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Amy Winehouse Arrested For Being A Justice Pervert

by Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse has been arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice, either for being caught up in her husband’s barman-attack thing or using her haircut to harbour known criminals – we just don’t know.

Oh, alright, actually we do know. Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice yesterday after she was apparently implicated in all this business that’s got her husband Blake Fielder-Civil currently banged up. After allegedly beating up a pub landlord to such an extent that he needed metal plates inserted into his face, Blake Fielder-Civil is then claimed to have offered him £200,000 to shut up and leave the country – and it’s thought that Amy Winehouse was brought into it because, without her wealth, all Blake could offer the landlord was 26p, half a packet of Refreshers and tatty hat that looks like someone’s been wiping their arse on it.

Amy Winehouse has been arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice, either for being caught up in her husband's barman-attack thing or using her haircut to harbour known criminals - we just don't know. Oh, alright, actually we do know. Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice yesterday after she was apparently implicated in all this business that's got her husband Blake Fielder-Civil currently banged up. After allegedly beating up a pub landlord to such an extent that he needed metal plates inserted into his face, Blake Fielder-Civil is then claimed to have offered him £200,000 to shut up and leave the country - and it's thought that Amy Winehouse was brought into it because, without her wealth, all Blake could offer the landlord was 26p, half a packet of Refreshers and tatty hat that looks like someone's been wiping their arse on it.
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‘Go To Miami, Amy Winehouse’ Orders Banged-Up Blake

by Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse is in for a cruddy Christmas. Not only is Santa vastly unlikely to give Amy what she needs the most – a slap in the mouth and a decent hairbrush – but now that her husband’s been remanded in custody, she’ll be all alone, too.

But just because Blake Fielder Civil is going to be banged up in prison until the middle of January – possibly even June – it doesn’t mean that he’s not in love with his wife. That’s why Blake has apparently urged Amy Winehouse to spend Christmas in Miami, the city where they got married, to reflect on the good times instead of wallowing glumly and screaming like an angry kestrel at paying fans. And it seems like Amy Winehouse has decided to listen to him and go to Miami. That’s probably for the best because not only will Amy Winehouse get some distance from her current troubles, but it means that Blake won’t have to kick her in the face until she needs metal plates inserted because she defied him.

Amy Winehouse is in for a cruddy Christmas. Not only is Santa vastly unlikely to give Amy what she needs the most - a slap in the mouth and a decent hairbrush - but now that her husband's been remanded in custody, she'll be all alone, too. But just because Blake Fielder Civil is going to be banged up in prison until the middle of January - possibly even June - it doesn't mean that he's not in love with his wife. That's why Blake has apparently urged Amy Winehouse to spend Christmas in Miami, the city where they got married, to reflect on the good times instead of wallowing glumly and screaming like an angry kestrel at paying fans. And it seems like Amy Winehouse has decided to listen to him and go to Miami. That's probably for the best because not only will Amy Winehouse get some distance from her current troubles, but it means that Blake won't have to kick her in the face until she needs metal plates inserted because she defied him.
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Amy Winehouse’s Hubby Still Banged Up

by Stuart Heritage

Aside from the drugs, the self-harm, the wayward onstage performances and the erratic offstage behaviour, Amy Winehouse would be a model citizen if only her husband wasn’t in jail for smashing some bloke’s face up.

But he is, and he won’t be getting out any time soon. Amy Winehouse’s husband Blake Fielder-Civil was supposed to be in court this week over claims that he beat a man up so violently that the injuries left him needing metal plates in his face, but thanks to Blake Fielder-Civil getting arrested again last week for perverting the course of justice, the case has been pushed back. That means that a) Blake’s going to be held in custody for a lot longer than he thought and b) it’s looking more and more likely that the next Amy Winehouse album will just consist of 12 increasingly morose renditions of the Birds Of A Feather theme-tune.

Aside from the drugs, the self-harm, the wayward onstage performances and the erratic offstage behaviour, Amy Winehouse would be a model citizen if only her husband wasn't in jail for smashing some bloke's face up. But he is, and he won't be getting out any time soon. Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil was supposed to be in court this week over claims that he beat a man up so violently that the injuries left him needing metal plates in his face, but thanks to Blake Fielder-Civil getting arrested again last week for perverting the course of justice, the case has been pushed back. That means that a) Blake's going to be held in custody for a lot longer than he thought and b) it's looking more and more likely that the next Amy Winehouse album will just consist of 12 increasingly morose renditions of the Birds Of A Feather theme-tune.
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Amy Winehouse’s Gaff Raided By The Fuzz

by Stuart Heritage

There are many reasons why people would want to raid Amy Winehouse’s flat – to go on what we guess would be a dead-cert drug bust, for example, or to simply sellotape Amy’s mouth up and give her hair a damn good combing.

As it happens, police did raid Amy Winehouse’s flat last night. However, don’t start thinking that the raid was spectacular or anything, because it really wasn’t. For a start neither Amy Winehouse or her husband Blake Fielder-Civil were in at the time of the raid – so officers didn’t have to fend off any berserko razorblade attacks – plus it seems the raid had something to do with a bunch of people apparently perverting the course of justice, none of whom are Amy Winehouse. Still, it seems a waste to raid Amy Winehouse’s flat and not arrest her for something – surely it’s illegal to resemble the witch from Snow White that closely.

There are many reasons why people would want to raid Amy Winehouse's flat - to go on what we guess would be a dead-cert drug bust, for example, or to simply sellotape Amy's mouth up and give her hair a damn good combing. As it happens, police did raid Amy Winehouse's flat last night. However, don't start thinking that the raid was spectacular or anything, because it really wasn't. For a start neither Amy Winehouse or her husband Blake Fielder-Civil were in at the time of the raid - so officers didn't have to fend off any berserko razorblade attacks - plus it seems the raid had something to do with a bunch of people apparently perverting the course of justice, none of whom are Amy Winehouse. Still, it seems a waste to raid Amy Winehouse's flat and not arrest her for something - surely it's illegal to resemble the witch from Snow White that closely.
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