Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Amy Winehouse’s death was felt sincerely by many, including her ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. He’s riddled with anguish, invariably soundtracked by a chorus of boos from those who need someone to blame for Winehouse’s troubles.
However, Blake believes he could have saved Amy.
Get ready to launch your rotten tomatoes and insults because, we’re imagining you’ve already made your mind up about the whole situation haven’t you?
Hey, are you sick of being forced to think of Amy Winehouse’s grisly genitals in action yet? Yeah, us too.
But come on. Take a deep breath, hunker down for the next couple of minutes and we’ll all get through this together. It might take some strength of mind and a couple of months of group counselling afterwards, but we’ll be OK. Ready?
Good. Amy Winehouse has apparently been – urg – having sex. With someone who isn’t her husband or that new bloke she’s been dragging around lately. Amy Winehouse has apparently been having sex with – gleurgh – a long-haired American photographer. And it’s all the fault of – huuurrrgh – Kelly Osbourne. If you need us we’ll be puking and crying at the same time in the corner.
We don't know about you, but we're going to invest in a battered old trilby and something to poke our eyes with until they're bleary because we want a shot at Amy Winehouse too.
Amy Winehouse has moved out of her old Camden house and into a new flat to try and rid herself of all the troubling memories she's gained over the last few months. However, that might just be because she wants room for all kinds of new troubling memories, because Amy Winehouse has been befriended by none other than Pete Doherty. Rest easy, though – Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse are just platonic friends at the moment. And we'll know if it ever turns into a physical, sexual relationship because the sky will turn blood-red and a plague of vomiting locusts will descend on North London. Or something.
