Winners and losers.
Folded:
- The Hangover (out now on DVD and funnier than a dog with no legs)
- Be original; buy a BlackBerry (get the different one)
- The Thick of It (so many put downs you’ll wish you were back at school)
- Eggnog latte (from Starbucks where the staff are a hell of a lot nicer than the customers)
- Hair wax (shiny)
Creased:
Until now, there has always been a fundamental difference between iPhone users and BlackBerry users.
And that was this – if you own a BlackBerry, you’re a serious, business-minded professional who favours practicality over aesthetic. And if you own an iPhone, you’re a smug little namby-pamby who wants to buy into a horrible fake lifestyle that’s been invented by an objectionable advertising man in a polo neck sweater. Have you got an iPhone? You have? Use it at Starbucks, do you? Listen to Feist on it, do you? You make us sick.
But now something terrible has happened. BlackBerry has started chasing the lifestyle market, too. We’re doomed.
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Jail has changed Foxy Brown, that’s for sure.
In the past, if anybody had been stupid enough to accuse Foxy Brown of any wrongdoing, they’d have to spend a week afterwards trying to pull their kneecaps out of their nostrils with a set of blood-splattered pliers.
But not any more. Now that she’s out of jail, Foxy Brown got to go to court to face charges over that time she punched her neighbour’s head in with a Blackberry. And rather than lie and gripe her way straight back to jail, Foxy Brown unusually pleaded guilty and apologised. So it finally looks as if Foxy Brown has learnt her lesson. That’s rubbish, what are we supposed to write about now?
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