Articles tagged with: Black Eyed Peas
Glastonbury Festival is imminent. You should know this because every single stinking update on Facebook is counting down to the non-event like some mud-clogged Doomsday Clock. People from all over the world are bracing themselves for a weekend of squinting into pixelated screens three miles from the stage, dodging hugs from Earth Mothers and ducking lobbed cups full of dog puke. Oh, and Status Quo are on.
Let's quickly clear that headline up. Perez Hilton and Will.I.Am are having a squabble, and we think we might die of boredom. Apparently Will.I.Am went up to Perez Hilton on Monday morning and got all "Mer mer mer" and Perez went "Mer mer? Mer mer MER mer!" back. Then something dreary happened and they've both made videos where they're crying and screaming and it's all fairly tedious. Listen here Perez Hilton. You don't have the monopoly on this. Next Tuesday in the soup aisle of Asda we're going to give Bernie Clifton a wedgie. There, how do you like THAT?
Separating the sweet, juicy flesh from the stone and skin of this week’s major label releases. Planes are falling from the skies, the government is shrivelling up like a salted slug, and Brangelina are rumoured to be living separately. All unmistakable signs of an impending Apocalypse. But fear not: hecklerspray presents the music which this week will be arriving to make your lives wonderful. Better. Marginally more bearable. Slightly less of an endless dreary drag towards the inevitable end, and eternity spent in a pauper's grave. It's the Monday Music Mango! Whoot!
Those X-Men movies, they were OK - but it's blindingly obvious that they missed one vital ingredient.
And that's a mutant with the power to take any song you ever liked and ruin it by lazily babbling a lot of meaningless shit about tits over the top while waving a can of Pepsi Max around. But fear not - that'll all be changed with the new Wolverine prequel movie, because Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas has just signed up for a role.
Rumours that signing Will.i.am up for the Wolverine film is just a ploy to make people think that painting Frasier blue and casting him as a monster in X-Men 3 was a comparatively decent idea are still unconfirmed.
Having their San Diego gig halted by local police was no big deal for Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas. She dedicated the group's hit song Where is the Love? to the unmoved law enforcers before strolling off stage and urinating into her Spandex hotpants.
Though in actual fact Fergie has not lost control of her faculties during a live show for quite some time. Apparently she has done so many sit-ups her bladder has regressed into her cleavage, where it occasionally swells up for photo shoots and pre-coital heaving.
During their Tuesday gig to promote the opening of the Hard Rock hotel in the city, The Black Eyed peas - consisting of Fergie, apl.de.ap, Taboo, will.i.am, Conceited.com, Boba Fett and Haile Selassie - were bobbing away like an elderly pantomime troupe until San Diego police pulled their plug for exceeding noise levels.
