10 - Haven’t got an iPhone but still want to look like a tit on an ocarina? Here’s your answer…

9 - 40 inspirational speeches in two minutes. Why? We couldn’t be bothered to find out - Cinematical

8 – Russell Brand in unsurprising ‘sunglasses at night’ moment – Popsugar

7 – People who drink tea are better than people who drink coffee. The following link isn’t proof of that in any way, but we just wanted it out there – DivineCaroline

6 - Oh Kung Fu Santa, won’t you be our wife? – Attuworld

5 – The finest knock-off dolls you will ever see. Flash from Star Raiders is a particular favourite – Toplessrobot

4 - We defy anyone to come up with a better headline than ‘Is Having Sex with a Robot Hooker Cheating?’ – Asylum

3 - Scientists can now pull images directly from your brain. We saw a porno about this exact thing once – Pinktentacle

2 - Horrific body modifications. Don’t click if… actually, just don’t click – Cracked

1 - Just so we all know, this is the song to be played at our funeral. All the way through – Best Week Ever

Abominable third-rate mindless drivel? Absolutely. But don’t pretend you won’t be watching when it ends up on T4.