High and low tide.

Folded:

• Vanilla Ice (finally found a way to be the coolest guy in the room)
• A nice lady called Amy Walker doing accents (the South Carolina is darling, darling)
• The Cleveland Show (plush Stewie’s getting so old. Let’s get that cute Cleveland Jr in all the card shops now)
• Macgruber (“I’m a three wire guy”)
• Luke’s regret (just don’t think about it for too long)

Creased:

• Cinemas still packed with people seeing Avatar for the first time (if you haven’t seen it by now, don’t bother. Even watching Peter Andre explode after waiting this long would be disappointing)
• Bioshock 2 (more of the same but without the storyline. They didn’t up their game enough)
• Nicola Roberts (taken it upon herself to speak out against tanning by looking like an 18th century courtesan)
• St Valentine’s Day (designed to shove ‘ooh, we’re in a couple and you’re not’ in every single person’s face. Kinda like if there was a St Wealthy Day where rich people taunted us with bags of money and then burnt them all)
• John Terry (all he needs now is a license to kill)