Posts tagged as:

Biopic

Ali G and Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen To Play Freddie Mercury In A Film About Queen – May Or May Not Include Buck Teeth Prop

by Mof Gimmers

Sacha Baron Cohen is taking a step away from mocking the working classes of various countries in an attempt to ultimately make stupid people look even stupider on the screen (obviously, we’re talking about Ali G and Borat here) in favour of playing Freddie Mercury. This is the latest in a long line of Let’s [...]

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Justin Bieber To Star As Dancing Foetus in 3D Movie

by Mof Gimmers

Pubeless girls the world over are currently getting their school bags in a twist over absolutely any snippet of news or information concerning Justin Bieber. Only yesterday, Bieber considered having a look at his Twitter feed whilst on the pan curling one out and the internet exploded. This, of course, means that people like us shamelessly latch on to this in the hope that someone might read these stupid words as well.

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Robert Pattinson Set To Ruin More Films, This Time Involving Dead Singers

by Ian Dransfield

When looking for someone to act as the once-prodigious, now-dead Jeff Buckley why not go for talent on the level of Robert Pattinson? After all, he is an actor lacking any discernable passion, he is attractive in a thoroughly mediocre way and he’s generally a bit crap. It’s a perfect fit for the lead role [...]

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Bob Marley Movies Scrap Over Songs

by Stuart Heritage

Bob Marley movies are a lot like buses – you wait hours for one then two come at once, plus if you go on one late at night a creepy drunk man will sit next to you and try to stroke your knee.

We’ve forgotten what our point was now – something about Bob Marley trying to stroke our knee, we think.

No, it’s all coming back now – there are two Bob Marley movies on the way, except that they’re coming out so close together that an almighty scrap has kicked off about who gets to use Bob Marley’s songs. Honestly, they should just flip for it – winner gets Redemption Song, loser gets Craven Choke Puppy. Simple.

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Bob Marley Movie This Way Comes

by Shawn Lindseth

That Ray Charles movie brought in a lot of green. Although he may have known it’d be a money-maker, the green reference was completely lost on him.

That Bob Dylan movie got rave reviews all over the place. It had a bunch of taped-down girls pretending to be him, and critics went bananas. It’s a simple recipe really, make a film about a musical fellow and you’re sure to walk the red carpet at least once before the fall leaves fade.

Now it’s Bob Marley’s turn. He’s about to get his own sure-fire critically acclaimed biopic made, and Hollywood is abuzz with anticipation. You could be in it – if you look a lot like head lice.

We heard the script is gonna deal mostly with what it was like to live on Bob’s head. A little tiny journal was found by the guy that embalmed him, and the present script has been derived from that. It’s just what we heard.

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Beyonce To Make Movie About The Diet Coke Lady

by Stuart Heritage

If you had to describe Beyonce in a word, what would it be? Remember that ‘big-thighed’ doesn’t count because it’s technically two words.

We’d go with ‘multi-talented’. Which, we know, is two words as well. We haven’t thought this through. Anyway, Beyonce’s staggering versatility has just been exercised again because, following her much-hyped turn in 1960s period musical Dreamgirls, Beyonce has decided to branch out and star in 1960s period musical Cadillac Records.

They’re different, really they are. Mainly because Beyonce is a producer on Cadillac Records so she gets to make sure that nobody casts sodding Jennifer Hudson to steal all her thunder again.

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