by Stuart Heritage
The day most men are introduced to their 15-year-old daughter’s 20-year-old underwear model boyfriend is usually they day they go bald and/or start sniffing glue.
But not if you’re Billy Ray Cyrus. If you’re Billy Ray Cyrus then your 15-year-old daughter will never introduce you to her 20-year-old underwear model boyfriend. That’s because if you’re Billy Ray Cyrus, your 15-year-old daughter is Miley Cyrus and it’s you who’ll introduce her to the aforementioned 20-year-old underwear model.
That’s right – it turns out that Billy Ray Cyrus is responsible for hooking Miley Cyrus up with her new, much older, mostly naked boyfriend Justin Gaston. Normally we’d suggest that Miley Cyrus’ ex-boyfriend would be feeling pretty inadequate because of this, but given our suspicion that Miley Cyrus’ ex-boyfriend was actually Billy Ray Cyrus anyway, we’ll probably just leave it.
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by Stuart Heritage
We’ve all seen those seatbelt adverts where a car crashes and the seatbeltless passenger gets turned into a mound of whimpering goo – but imagine if that mound of goo was Miley Cyrus.
You’d be distraught, wouldn’t you. Miley would have left this world leaving us with only two albums, a slightly annoying TV show and a 3D movie of a concert to remember her by. And that could have been the case after a scene from the Miley Cyrus movie clearly showed Miley Cyrus and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus riding around in a car without a seatbelt on.
But now Billy Ray Cyrus has publicly apologised for their lack of caution. That’s not enough, though – we’ll only rest when Billy Ray Cyrus wears a seatbelt all the time, even when he’s walking around his house or going to the toilet. And if the belt could be wound around his mouth or neck, then that’s even better.
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