Articles tagged with: billy ray cyrus
Kids, eh? It's so hard to watch them grow up. Especially when they're Miley Cyrus. But then again it's always hard to watch her. Miley Cyrus is starting to assert her independence. Until now, Miley had been doing this perfectly normally, like going out with an adult underwear model and being ludicrously rich enough to financially control her entire family, but now she's crossed the line. How? Miley Cyrus has got her nose pierced. So now Miley Cyrus is a punk. We're excited to hear her raw, uncompromising new direction on forthcoming single Let's Have A Punky Pyjama Party (Lalalalala).
We don't know how the Hannah Montana movie ended. We didn't see the Hannah Montana movie. We hit puberty several years ago. We assumed that we knew how the Hannah Montana movie would end, though - with Miley Cyrus getting hit in the face with an asteroid then bitten in half by a dinosaur, who then barfs her back up into Billy Ray Cyrus's crying face. Because movies like that need an feelgood climax, don't they? But apparently that's not how the Hannah Montana movie ended, because Miley Cyrus is making another season. And no mention of regurgitated dino-puke, either. Disappointing.
When Jamie Foxx said that he wanted Miley Cyrus to catch Chlamydia from a bike, he messed with the wrong dude. Or the right dude. He messed with Billy Ray Cyrus. And now Billy Ray Cyrus wants blood. "It was hurtful," he said, before adding "If anyone is going to turn Miley Cyrus into a disease-ridden drug addict it'll be me and my relentless desire to piggyback vicariously on her wealth and fame regardless of the cost. Not Jamie Foxx. ME!" Just to clear that up, Billy Ray Cyrus didn't actually say that last bit. He probably thought it, though.
Just about the whole world went to the great big hideously expensive Miley Cyrus Disneyland 16th birthday party - with one notable exception. And, of course, that was Justin Gaston - the 20-year-old undercracker model who might very well be Miley Cyrus' special and conspicuously older boyfriend. It's not really a surprise that Justin Gaston didn't go to Miley Cyrus' birthday party - he's too old for Disneyland and was probably doing something cool like riding a motorbike or drinking cider at a bus stop or something. But Miley Cyrus' dad Billy Ray Cyrus doesn't mind. He's heaped praise on Gaston despite his no-show. And so would you too, if you knew that pretending to enjoy the fact that your little girl is probably in some kind of relationship with a full-grown man was the only thing stopping said little girl from financially abandoning you the second she turns 18.
The day most men are introduced to their 15-year-old daughter's 20-year-old underwear model boyfriend is usually they day they go bald and/or start sniffing glue. But not if you're Billy Ray Cyrus. If you're Billy Ray Cyrus then your 15-year-old daughter will never introduce you to her 20-year-old underwear model boyfriend. That's because if you're Billy Ray Cyrus, your 15-year-old daughter is Miley Cyrus and it's you who'll introduce her to the aforementioned 20-year-old underwear model. That's right - it turns out that Billy Ray Cyrus is responsible for hooking Miley Cyrus up with her new, much older, mostly naked boyfriend Justin Gaston. Normally we'd suggest that Miley Cyrus' ex-boyfriend would be feeling pretty inadequate because of this, but given our suspicion that Miley Cyrus' ex-boyfriend was actually Billy Ray Cyrus anyway, we'll probably just leave it.
We've all seen those seatbelt adverts where a car crashes and the seatbeltless passenger gets turned into a mound of whimpering goo - but imagine if that mound of goo was Miley Cyrus.
You'd be distraught, wouldn't you. Miley would have left this world leaving us with only two albums, a slightly annoying TV show and a 3D movie of a concert to remember her by. And that could have been the case after a scene from the Miley Cyrus movie clearly showed Miley Cyrus and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus riding around in a car without a seatbelt on.
But now Billy Ray Cyrus has publicly apologised for their lack of caution. That's not enough, though - we'll only rest when Billy Ray Cyrus wears a seatbelt all the time, even when he's walking around his house or going to the toilet. And if the belt could be wound around his mouth or neck, then that's even better.
Hannah Montana, or Miley Cyrus as she's known in real life, isn't actually called Miley Cyrus - she was born with the name Destiny Hope Cyrus. But Miley Cyrus isn't called that now, either.
Sorry, that was confusing. Look - Miley Cyrus, who plays Hannah Montana in the TV show Hanna Montana, has just changed her name from Destiny Hope Cyrus to Miley Ray Cyrus because her Dad is Billy Ray Cyrus and everyone called her Miley Cyrus anyway and she liked the 'Ray' part of her Dad's name.
There, that's cleared all the confusion up.
