Yep, 60-year-old Billy Joel has split up with his 27-year-old wife. And that’s probably it. No excitement here.

Don’t expect anything as exciting as the Christie Brinkley/ Peter Cook divorce from these two. That’s partly because the thought of Billy Joel masturbating to $3,000 of porn a month is so grotty that it makes us want to punch ourselves unconscious, and partly because it’s unlikely that Billy Joel would run off with a teenager because the current 33-year age-gap between him and his estranged wife is already disturbing enough as it is, thank you very much.

Cuh. Billy Joel is boring.

You might not have known this, but for the last five years Billy Joel has been married to a 27-year-old chef called Katie Lee. We’re saying that you might not have known that, by the way, for two reasons: 1) Nobody has really thought about Billy Joel for the last 15 years, even by accident, and 2) Unlike Uptown Girl, which he wrote for Christie Brinkley, Billy Joel has never written any songs for Katie Lee. That’s not to say he hasn’t tried, of course, but he’s always come unstuck looking for something that rhymes with “Compared to me, you’re as old as a foetus.”

But anyway, none of that matters now – it’s just been announced that Billy Joel and Katie Lee are splitting up. People reports:

“After nearly five years of marriage Billy Joel & Katie Lee Joel have decided to separate. This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. Billy & Katie remain caring friends with admiration and respect for each other,” says a statement issued by both of their reps.

Now that’s sad and all, but it’s not the end of the world. This split means that Katie Lee can forge ahead with trying to make a name for herself, and also for finding a life partner who isn’t old enough to be one of her dad’s creepy friends.

And as for Billy Joel – well, is it too much to expect for him to get back together with Christie Brinkley? After all, thanks to her humiliating divorce from Peter Cook recently, Christie’s self-esteem is probably at its absolute lowest – and that means Billy Joel has never had a better chance of getting back into her knickers.

Oh, it’d be wonderful. Billy Joel could write some new songs for Christie Brinkley – called things like I’ll Never Leave You For A Teenager I Just Met In A Toyshop and Boy, Your Last Husband Sure Did Enjoy Wanking A Lot – and in return Christie could paint some more nightmarish, childlike album covers for Billy that everyone laughs at but secretly understands because if they’d somehow lucked their way into marrying a supermodel they’d probably let her scrawl some hapless, objectively bad artwork for them, too.

We’ve forgotten what our point was now. Something about Billy Joel, we think.

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But how does Christie Brinkley like to relax in the few moments where she's not systematically kicking the father of her child in the balls again and again until his reputation is shattered forever? Simple – by hanging out with Billy Joel.

Christie Brinkley spent her Independence Day at a barbecue with ex-husband Billy Joel. While those close to Brinkley are busy pointing out that there's nothing romantic going on, Billy Joel must surely know that Christie Brinkley's heightened vulnerability means that she'll leap into his arms again as soon as he plays her the new song he's written about her, the doo-wop influenced My Monthly Internet Pornography Bill Is Marginally Smaller Than His.

It's probably fair to say that Christie Brinkley is the worst judge of men in the history of the entire universe. It's true – she's never managed to hold down a successful relationship for any decent length of time without them buggering everything up by shagging a teenager or spending $3,000 a month on internet porn or, in the case of Olivier Chandon de Brailles, crashing a racing car into a canal and drowning. Pigs, the lot of them.

But the closest Christie Brinkley has ever come to a perfect man is Billy Joel, the furniture polish-drinking recovering alcoholic who's recently become more famous for crashing his car than for singing.

While he was married to Christie Brinkley, Billy Joel loved her something rotten – he wrote all kinds of songs for her, including Uptown Girl, Shameless and Blonde Over Blue, and he even used the artwork that Christie created for his River Of Dreams album, even though it looked like it was painted by a polio-stricken goose hammered on cough medicine.

And Christie Brinkley loved Billy Joel too because, although she divorced him, she didn't tell the world how much he spent every month on masturbatory aids as revenge for him having sex with a teenager he met in a toystore. We get the impression that's the closest Christie Brinkley will ever get to love, anyway.

So imagine our delight when we heard that Christie Brinkley had taken time out from her punishing divorce routine to spend a hilarious Independence Day afternoon taunting clumsy children with Billy Joel at his house. People reports:

Brinkley, arrived with daughter Alexa Joel, 20, and "seemed good," says a friend of the supermodel's… An onlooker says Brinkley, Alexa, Billy and about a dozen friends "were having a blast," eating barbecue ribs and corn and sipping white wine. At one point Alexa dropped her first plate of food – "they were all laughing about that," says the source. 

Now, we know what you're thinking – you're wondering if this could be the start of a renewed love affair between Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel. Well, don't – as vulnerable and needy as Christie Brinkley probably is at the moment, Billy Joel happens to be happily married to Katie Lee Joel, a 27-year-old TV presenter.

Still, it's nice to see that Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel can remain on friendly terms following their divorce, which means there's a good chance that Christie and Peter Cook will be able to stay friends once this divorce is over, too. And even if they don't, Peter will still have $3,000 of porn to thwack away to every single month. Who needs friends when you've got that?