Do you like films? Do you like real-life tales of against-the-odds struggle? Does your single-digit IQ often cause you to clap along to Saturday evening TV theme-tunes?

You answered yes to all the above? Well, then this must be your lucky day – because it’s been announced that a Billy Elliot-style movie is to be made about George Sampson, the disabled teenage breakdancing winner of Britain’s Got Talent.

Having said that, there’s a possibility that Simon Cowell is just going to send a bunch of heavies to visit five million of the most stupid people in Britain and steal £7.50 from each of them instead, because that way Cowell gets his money and nobody has to waste their time going to see his rubbish film.

Britain’s Got Talent is a heartwarming return to that much-missed television genre – the variety show where the winner is chosen on how shit their life is, how awful their haircut is and how slightly disabled they appear to be. Honestly, the original title for Britain’s Got Talent was Britain’s Got A Cack-Handed Barber, Lives On A Council Estate And One Of Its Lungs Is The Size Of A Peanut, but it didn’t really pop onscreen.

Last year’s winner of Britain’s Got Talent – original title number two: Britain’s Got A Lot Of People In It Who Remind You Of Forrest Gump – was Paul Potts, the sad-eyed singing phone salesman who captured the nation’s heart by being in a car crash, having a bunch of tumours in his body and marrying some woman off the internet. He’d also previously performed with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, but that wasn’t quite so heartbreaking so nobody really mentioned it at the time.

And that’s a trend that continued this year when it was revealed that the winner of Britain’s Got Talent was George Sampson, a teenage street dancer. That’s it – George Sampson is a teenage street dancer and he’s good at it and that’s the only reason why he won Britain’s Got Talent.

Oh, and also because George Sampson comes from an economically-deprived part of the country and had to busk for dancing lessons. And he got bullied for his love of dance. And he suffers from a rare spine disorder that makes him go blind if he dances too much. And his haircut, seriously, is rubbish.

You missed all that? Well don’t fret – because there are apparently plans to turn George Sampson’s life into a heartwarming Billy Elliot-style movie. Now reports:

Hollywood producers want to make a biopic of George Sampson’s rise to fame. Filmmakers reckon the Britain’s Got Talent winner’s Billy Elliot-style story is great movie material. ‘They reckon George’s story could be a perfect follow-up to Billy,’ a source tells The Sun. ‘There are a lot of similarities.’

And people sure are keen for the George Sampson movie to be made – the film’s script is all ready to go. OK, so it’s literally just the Billy Elliot script with all the references to Billy Elliot scribbled out and ‘Weedy-Looking Disabled Kid’ written over the top in biro, but that’s a start.

By the way, if any of this sounds familiar to you, that’s because it’s only been a couple of months since someone decided to announce a Paul Potts movie as well. Seems a bit of coincidence, doesn’t it? Almost as if no movies are actually going to be made about either of them at all and that it’s all just a bunch of exaggerated rumours.

Oh well, never mind. Less than a year to go and we can go through the whole thing again on the next series of Britain’s Got Talent - original title number three: Britain is Most Easily Manipulated When Poor People Say Sad Things While Trouble By Coldplay Plays In The Background.

The winner of that, by the way is already provisionally slated to be a cross-eyed toddler with dead parents that used to abuse her because she hasn’t got any bones in her neck. She sings or acts or juggles or something – producers haven’t worked that bit out yet.