Now let’s be clear. Addiction is nothing to laugh at. Unless it’s sex addiction, because that’s sort of hilarious.
Oh come on, it is. Look at Tiger Woods. If he was addicted to heroin? Tragic. Drugs? Awful. Gambling? Upsetting. But he’s not. Tiger Woods is addicted to sex. He’s even gone to rehab for it. What sex rehab involves is anyone’s guess – we’d assume it’s a mixture of STD textbooks and pole dances from Lisa Riley from You’ve Been Framed – but sexaholism definitely is a real illness that exists. It is. You get it when you’re addicted to sexahol.
Don’t believe us? Fine – here are 10 horny-arsed celebrities who’d be only too happy to change your mind. Or hump your leg. One or the other…
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This is just a hunch, but we’re expecting Will Ferrell to be named as People‘s sexiest man alive next year.
Because, seriously, that man is loaded. He gets paid so much money. Too much money, in fact. And he doesn’t deserve a bloody penny of it. That’s according to Forbes, at least – Will Ferrell has come out on top of a list 0f Hollywood’s most overpaid stars. The list claims that Will Ferrell only earns his investors a return of $3.29 for every dollar he’s paid.
Why such a poor figure? Well, it’s partly because Land Of The Lost flopped, partly because comedy is notoriously difficult to sell around the world and partly because Will Ferrell has cold dead eyes and a rapist’s haircut. Possibly.
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How many Billy Bob Thornton films can you name, off the top of your head? You might reel off Sling Blade, Bad Santa, Armageddon, Pushing Tin, Monster’s Ball, A Simple Plan.
Now, how many Billy Bob Thornton albums can you name, whether as a solo artist or as a member of his country-pop band The Boxmasters?
Not so easy, right? Nevertheless, as his breathtakingly petulant recent performance on Canada’s CBC Radio One illustrates, when Billy Bob Thornton is promoting his little-heard of band he’d rather you pretend you’ve never seen any of his blockbuster movies. Even the Oscar-nominated ones where he bangs Halle Berry or plays a mumbling, mentally-deficient, murdering mentalist.
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The king of punching above his weight has attempted to strike another blow for weird-looking men everywhere.
Yes, Billy-Bob Thornton has made claims that Angelina Jolie may come crawling back to him at some point, once she’s done with her relationship with that Brad Pitt character. We’re not sure when that will be, mind, as she has just about to have some of those child things, with Pitt serving up half of the chromosomes in the deal.
But hey – he’s already had a crack at her, so why shouldn’t ol’ Billy-Bob be confident?
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