Stupid Michael Jackson. He caused trouble for everyone when he was alive, trouble which was unfathomably passed off by fans because he donated a slender portion of his grotesque wealth to charity and, since his death, has caused even more hassle for everyone.
When will this horror end?
When he’s wasn’t mangling his face to the point where he could curdle Pepsi simply by staring at it, getting caught up in various scandals involving children and having pale children despite having the DNA of a black man, he went and died because it was the only thing that could keep him in the centre of everyone’s attention. Just ask Dr Conrad Murray. And now, some boring insurance people are getting in on the act as well, refusing to pay-up, thanks to Jackson’s “prescription drugs use/or addiction”. The daft prancing junkie.
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Hey kids, don't bother trying hard at school; it turns out that the quickest way to financial success is to knock up a borderline-deluded superstar a couple of times – just ask Kevin Federline.
As we've told you every day since pretty much the dawn of man, Kevin Federline and Britney Spears are currently fighting for custody of their two children. If she didn't act so crazy, Britney would have been the obvious choice for custody because a) she's the mother, b) the father is Kevin Federline, a man who looks like he still needs to use children's safety scissors and c) she's loaded. Even though she does keep acting crazy, though, the last point still stands true. But if Britney Spears wanted to exploit that by riding the custody battle out until Kevin Federline runs out of money and gives up, she's in for a shock – Britney Spears has been ordered to pay for Kevin Federline's legal bills as well as her own.
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