9 - Important bikini news. You heard – Interestment

8 – Here’s another thing that Matt Berry is humiliatingly good at – Watch With Mothers

7 – Parents: Vanessa Hudgens hates your children (sort of) – Amy Grindhouse

6 - Now it’s time for something genuinely disturbing! – Bestweekever

5 - Would you like to see Peter Andre’s new video? No? Shut up, here it is – Popsugar

4 - How to pick up chicks. Apparently – Shoutingatcows

3 - Choose your own apocalypse. You know, if you like – Slate

2 - What your name badge says about you – Holytaco

1 – Best music video of all time? Why yes…

But it would appear that Paris Hilton is indeed running for the presidency of the United States of America. In a video statement released to political hardline site Funny or Die, Hilton responded to the recent campaign ad from John McCain and the Republican party with her own brand of politics.

In the original ad, Paris was likened to Democratic Senator Barack Obama – popular, but ultimately vacuous and easily forgotten (or maybe it was the other way round). It would seem that young miss Hilton didn’t take too kindly to these words and has launched something of a war on the Republican Party, vowing to bring them down if it’s the last thing she does.

Okay, so maybe we’re going a bit overboard – even told a couple of porkie pies. She isn’t trying to bring down the Republican Party. She isn’t actually running for presidency. And Funny or Die isn’t technically a political hardline site.

But she has been involved in a video response, so it’s not all bad news laced with lies.

The video, produced as a direct response to the Republican campaign advert, stars young Paris – and she’s hardly even naked at all, meaning we live in some bizarre world where she can manage to make something that both isn’t a sex tape and is funny. No, instead of committing lewd acts then releasing the video footage for profit, the Simple Life star simply lazes on a sun lounger and puts forth her views on today’s US politics.

Of course, her words come across as if they were completely, totally and utterly written by no one but Paris Hilton herself. No help involved here. No sireee, not with this mastermind at the helm. Definitely. We’d be willing to bet on that.

Alright, so we’re back to lying again.

Nevertheless, the video is quite funny and Paris doesn’t make herself into a complete tit throughout. Frankly, this is nothing short of a genuine miracle, when you take into account the above-mentioned fact that this isn’t even a sex tape. Paris’ credentials for the presidency aren’t that bad either – she is the perfect wife after all and she’s a genius, though she may run some of her voters over if she isn’t careful.

In all honesty though, we at hecklerspray are still waiting for the Britney Spears response to hit the web. Who knows – maybe a career in politics is just the kind of low-stress job Miss Spears needs, as soon as she’s free to roam again? And the combination of high profile work and actual responsibility could put her in good stead to get her kids back from that prat Kevin Federline. Hey – it’s just a thought.

Or maybe it’ll just get ignored and the whole event will be taken exactly as it’s ’supposed’ to, with people watching, laughing and forgetting. Bah. Watch the video below:

One more time, for the road, Miley Cyrus has got half naked, someone has taken photos and one more time, for the road, they have been uploaded on to the internet. And we all know how very much the world of the internet loves pictures of 15-year-olds in small amounts of clothing.

She’s fifteen, people. Stop it. If this were a no-name young girl from Bognor Regis then whomever uploaded these pictures would probably receive something of a slapped wrist by the local authorities, but because it’s a superstar Disney child-celeb it’s all fine to go plastering half the internet with scantly-clad photographs of her.

Go on – search for it. You’ll find them on supposedly respectable sites, including FOX News. This is the same FOX News that cries crocodile tears and attempts to whip up public outrage every time anything ‘immoral’ happens in the world. Apparently a small girl in her underwear doesn’t qualify for that same outrage – in fact, it’s news.

If you’ve resisted the tempation to look at these near-naked photos of a child doing the rounds then well done, you’re one of the few that will be allowed to survive the hecklerspray armageddon, which will allow us a fresh start in a world free of the absolute filth of the earth gutter scum that seem to be propagating everywhere the ex-Hannah Montana is popping up.

Not content with appearing on the front of Vanity Fair and making some people – apart from her dad, seemingly – uncomfortable with the semi-nudity on show, Miley went on to have about thirty thousand different pictures of hear nearly with her clothes all (mostly) off and stuff.

Obviously the tweeny little thing apologised for all her actions and went back to work as normal with her Disney cohorts. But she just couldn’t help herself, could she? No, like every other person in the world since the advent of Myspace, she decided she simply had to take even more pictures of herself with very few clothes on.

Kids are idiots, aren’t they? Especially ones very much in the public eye. Either that or they’ve become even cleverer than they’ve ever been and are involved in campaigns to make adults around the world feel slightly uncomfortable with the imagery they are confronted with on supposedly reputable news-based websites.

But no – we aren’t going to judge Miley Cyrus for this. She’s either been very stupid or very smart, and either way she’s grabbed herself a ton of new headlines. No, we’ll go for those of questionable morality that seem to be having so much fun plastering the internet with these images as news.

We now live in a world where it has become acceptable for $14 million to be paid for pictures of babies, and where photographs of an underage girl posing with little in the way of clothes has become front page news – with the pictures (or at least links to the pictures) posted alongside the report.

But at least we can still wait for the ultimate test, to see how low these people will really stoop. According to FOX News:

“DigitalGangster.com allegedly has even more scandalous images of Cyrus.”

Let’s see if the world will actually post what is technically child porn as news. Go on. Let’s really see how fucked society has become.

But we digress. We’re about to link to a gallery of famous women in bikinis, thanks to OSOYOU. You know exactly what you’re going to get here – if you’re female you can alternate between envy and glee as you flick between celebrities who look good in their bikinis and celebrities who look like messy old fartbags.

And, if you’re male, you can look at the pictures and decide whether or not you’d like to have sex with the celebrities before deciding that, yes, you’d probably have sex with all of them. Even Amy Winehouse. Then you can go and cry. For this is how all men work. Anyway, pictures! Let’s go!

Celebs In Bikinis – OSOYOU

As we all know, there are only two things that perpetuate the spinning of the earth on its axis these days – celebrities and naked girls.

They are everywhere, constantly vying for our attention. It’s a daily clash of the titans; one day naked girls will get a unanimous victory, only for celebrities to get their sweet revenge soon after, leaving a bloody pool of tits, ass and ego all over the streets in their wake.

The only time peace can be found is when the two of them merge their awesome powers together, creating that all powerful attention-grabbing freak of nature that is: the naked-girl-celebrity.

The bigger the celebrity the better, and the more naked the better, so this time we’d like to whole-heartedly thank Britney Spears for offering us her celebrity, and semi-thank her the nakedness she merged with it.

As part of Britney’s ongoing comeback, she has returned to the gym in an effort to return her body to the former glories that once made her famous, so that the next time she strides knickerless out of a car door, it will be more like the way a million boys had once dreamt it, and not the bald, playdough fun-killing-factory it turned out to be in reality.

So, if anyone wants to compare their bikini bodies to or knock one off in the name of naked-girl-celebrity, then follow the link below to see pictures taken by some paparazzi fella who was stalking her on the beach.

See Pics Here

Read More – Britney Spears Bodacious Body, Back Taxes – Gossip Girls