The child comedian Luke has left the house and there is a void to be filled. Whoever steps up and takes his starring role may be a good bet for this year’s BB title.

Luke was an early favourite when the show began, but he slowly became a hate figure for the viewers and once his ‘lady’, Becky, was kicked out, it was inevitable he would follow.

So who’s going to win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother odds for Mikey, Kat, Darnell, Rex and Nicole, with help from Paddy Power…

Mikey: Well, he perhaps gets the sympathy vote here. Call it blind faith. People seem to have forgotten his God-awful, at times offensive, comedy routine – and his pepper spray sniping. At 11-4, Mikey maybe a good bet, but there is no cast-iron favourite here. The field is reasonably open. Big Brother betting odds – 11-4.

Kat: The annoying Teletubby is second favourite. ‘I want to be a mummy,’ she told Rachel this week. I pity that child then – having to grow up listing to that shrill noise all day long. You can back her at 3-1. Though why would you want to. Big Brother Betting odds – 3-1.

Darnell: He’s playing a decent game. He knows the balance between good and evil. He knows just how far he can push things without losing credibility. He can be a complete cock one minute and an albino angel the next. Clever, clever boy. Slap your cash on him at 10-3. You could spend it on worse. Big Brother betting odds – 10-3.

Rex: Surprisingly still a 4-1 punt. The shit-stirrer. His constant bullying of Rachel makes him feel the big man he wishes he was – a point made well by Lisa this week when she finally got fed up with the tosser. Put your money on the gastro-git at your peril. Big Brother Betting odds – 4-1.

Nicole: And now we have to put up with Rex’s ‘bird’, too. Oh joy. And isn’t she a bundle of laughs? She’s more annoying than Kat already – and didn’t Rex look so pleased to see her? He was little a stranded cat on a motorway as she burst out of the storeroom and bounded towards him like a juggernaut. Big Brother Betting odds – 33-1.

Lisa: She still has a chance. Surely she is the first person in Big Brother history to have walked out – only to have been let back in again. Big Brother Betting odds- 14-1.

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Stuart, Sara, Rachel and Mohamed. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Story by Richard Hughes.

Outrageously two-faced Alexandra’s time in the house must be up.

Surely it’s all over for the whining cow. Let’s get rid as soon as she’s up for eviction. But hang on, Paddy Power thinks she might walk (4/1).

Now wouldn’t that be a bonus. We could get rid of Mario too then.

These two need to go as soon as possible. They are beyond entertaining now.

They have become galling to watch. Alexandra’s outburst about housemates talking behind other housemates’ backs highlighted her obvious insanity, while Mario has reached all-time record-breaking levels of creepiness this week.

Watching him sitting in the bath with his products and his anti-trophy wife exfoliating was quite disgusting. Not for the first time this series, that man made me feel ill.

And yesterday, for the first time, I actually felt sorry for Lisa. Okay, she did look horrible in that lipstick, but his reaction on seeing her was priceless.

“What you got on your face love. It doesn’t suit you, you look like the Joker.”

Of course, he was right. But it was her quick turn and “I’ll take it off then” that surprised me. God it must be fun in their house.

“You’re not going out like that”, “It’s time you went to bed love, you need your beauty sleep”, “Stick a porno on love, the old man needs to see some action.”

“Yes Mario, yes Mario, yes Mario. Three bags full Mario. Shall I have another tit job Mario?”

So he can go. And so can vile backstabbing Alex. Her cohort has finally seen through her. Sylvia has finally realised it’s time to disassociate herself from Evil Edna.

And Dean was spot on when he told Big Brother he only thought she was being nice because nominations were due.

She thinks – no – knows in her twisted head she’s right all the time, when in fact she’s hardly ever on the same page as anyone else.

My favourite moment of the last couple of days was when she asked by Kat what was being cooked. “Shepherd’s pie,” she snapped back,” adding: “Or cottage pie as Rex insists on calling it.”

Rex, who was standing cooking behind her quickly pointed out: “It’s cottage pie. Shepherd’s pie is lamb and cottage pie is beef.”

For once, she didn’t have an answer. Hurrah.

Mind you, if it’s quotes you’re after, my favourite of the week so far is Luke’s: “We licked all those crisps for jack all.”

Luke’s fast becoming gold dust. And his Paddy Power odds to win are still 3\1 and he will surely overtake Kat sooner or later. The more annoying she gets, the sooner it’s likely to be. C’mon Luke, keep it up son.

Story by Richard Hughes

“The lines are closed. The votes have been verified. And I can now reveal that the first person to be evicted from the Big Brother house is… Stephanie!”

And with that went my chance of making any money out of Paddy Power this week!

I had my lolly on creepy Mario and his plastic wife Lisa. Surely that was a banker of a bet? But no – the voting public thought otherwise and ousted pretty young thing Steph, the only one to really stand up to the gruesome twosome and their childish bullying.

Apart from those two sad acts, she was probably the only one who expected her name to be called by Davina, too. The faces of the others told that story quite clearly.

But hey… who will remember Steph now? It’s a cruel game this BB one and the blonde 19-year-old looker will be forgotten just like all those other first-week failures.

It’s a shame, I know. It was fun while it lasted Steph. But them’s the breaks. Honestly, it wasn’t you, it was me.

I just want us to be friends. And that’s the last time I will see you… until we meet in an Essex nightclub, you picking up your £200 appearance D-lister appearance fee for two songs and a snog with Adrian from Crawley on his birthday!

So it’s time to move on and take a look at the odds for the outright winner again.

Cookie-mad Thai Teletubby Kat is 2/1 to beat the rest of the field – but how long will we be able to put up with that screechy voice and those missing Rs?

Kat’s sweet, yes, but only in the same way a stick of rock is sweet. Eat too much and it leaves you rotten, rotten to the core.

No, I can’t see her still being everybody’s cup of tea (with eight sugars) this time next month, let alone in week 13.

So who’s next? Well, it’s chirpy northern Luke (3/1), who I read this week is a wrestling announcer! It’s a strange, old world sometimes. I would have had him down for a white coat and hairnet in an Eccles cake factory in Halifax, but there’s nowt queer as folk, as they say oop north.

Then comes the rest of the field – and at this stage, it might be fun to stick your hand in your pocket and play that field a little.

There’s Blind Mikey (9/2), Albino Darnell (10/1), Straight-and-Narrow Rachel (12/1), Masterchef Rex (14/1), Dishy Dale (16/1), Top-heavy Becky (25/1), Flirty single mum Jen (28\1), Everyone’s mate Mohamed (33/1), Gay dancer Dennis (66/1) and Sultry Sylvia. But this bunch are surely going to be around for another week at least.

That’s because this week it will be between this threesome (and what a horrible thought that is!): undercover shaggers Mario (100/1) and Lisa (80/1) – and the vile (but entertaining) Alex (200/1).

One of these three will go this week to shake it up a bit more – and, of course, there’s always the possibility of NEW HOUSEMATES! Not that I know anything, mind! Honest

Paddy Power will be offering odds on the next eviction just as soon as the nominations are announced.

Story by Richard Hughes

Here we go – it’s the first eviction night and one of the Wedding Task four will get kicked out of the Big Brother house.

Paddy Power think it’s going to be Mario (1-3). In fact, they are so sure, you can already place bets on such things as what he is going to do after leaving the house, how many times he’ll mention girlfriend Lisa in his eviction speech, and who he will say he wants to win. Unsurprisingly, Lisa is the favourite for that.

Give me a break, in fact, we wish it was Lisa leaving tonight. And at 25-1, I’m putting a shiny pound on such an outcome – in hope rather than expectation, admittedly.

Steph is 2-1 and Luke an outsider at 66-1.

To be fair to Luke, who has just begun wearing long trousers, he seems really, quite genuinely, possibly sickly, nice. He might even have that “ahhh” factor that will keep him in the house until the final week.

He couldn’t possibly do anything that would ever offend anybody – apart from blow the odd raspberry. And he must be odds-on to get that all-important mothers vote. Those mothers have quite a say, you know…

But might he be a baby-faced assassin? Might he be Bugsy in disguise? He definitely has comedy value galore, might that be part of his game plan?

Keep in with everyone! Surely that’s Luke’s strategy. If everybody loves him he will never get a nomination. But we’ve seen this before. The straight-edge housemates always come a cropper in the end. Sometimes they even snap. Oh, I do hope Luke snaps one night.

Look, I’m watching him now as he stares at a bottle of milk banging a spoon against his fingers. Ooh, and now he’s making tea. “I’m just having a cup of tea Mario. That’s the way it’s going to continue tonight, drinking tea.”

Is that the actions of a child about to snap?

Oh for fuck’s sake. Do something interesting you boring, boring bastard! Fall over more, that was funny. But perhaps you meant to do that, maybe it was part of your game plan. Perhaps you are the life and soul outside of the house.

Perhaps you drink vodka in bed while wanking off to Essex Babes and Northern Girls. Kick puppies in the street and steal jazz mags from newsagents.

Perhaps, just perhaps, you’re loaded with your cream-pie gun and you’ll suddenly flip, get it out and spray the house with your creamy bullets.

Oh, then you’d be a man, my son! Or perhaps not.

By Richard Hughes

Paddy Power reckon there’s a good chance that Steph (2-1) could be climbing the Big Brother stairs out of the house tomorrow.

It’s between her and favourite Mario (1/3), with his man-like girlfriend Lisa an outsider at 18-1 and northern salt-of-the-earth talent show host Luke safe as house. Mind you, that’s not saying much in this current climate?

I’m in two minds over Steph at the moment. One minute I can’t stand her sulky, open-mouth, incredulous face, the next I watch bewildered as she stands up to bully Alex while others around back off and shy away from confrontation.

I certainly don’t want to see her to go – that would mean Mario and Lisa staying, and the possibility of the watching those bucket hands rubbing baby oil into his leathery torso again is giving me sleepless nights. I don’t think I could stand that.

It was during this disgusting scene that he had the cheek to slag off Steph and Jen for their ‘degrading’ attire during the talent show. Yet, there he was, lying on his bed wearing a pair of nine-year-old boys pants getting a back rub from his own personal fish wife.

Finally, Steph told the annoying tosser to shut up – and how did he react. He paused for a moment before calling her – wait for it – a hemorrhoid!

Steph has had a pop at Alex, too. She stood up for Jen again – and the Vicky Pollard-like one – when they clashed with the potty-mouthed, hard-done-by stir-fry-thief over soggy chips.

However much it winds me up to see her make-up-less blank expression in the morning, I can’t help but admire Steph for getting stuck in where others have failed to.

Mario’s comments to Jen were disgusting. If she wants to dress up with Steph and pretend to be a Cheeky Girl, then he should keep his big, fat mouth shut. Especially after his sickening performance in the diary room on his birthday.

Jen seems to have a problem with confidence, which isn’t surprising being a 22-year-old single mum, and he completely killed her when all she was planning to do was have a bit of fun. It’s hardly invading Poland, is it?

Steph and Jen looked great in their hotpants, and Mario’s 43-year-old ardour was probably dampened by the man-hands rubbing his back. If Lisa hadn’t been there – he would have enjoyed every moment of Steph and Jen’s parading in and out of the bedroom in their skimpies. The two-faced cock.

Nope. I can’t stand him. Steph and Luke to stay. Mario or Lisa and get kicked out. C’mon you guys, get voting and get betting. Paddy Power say Lisa still has a chance of staying at 18/1. Grab a bit of that here.

By Richard Hughes

Paddy Power think Mario (4-9) will be the first to get kicked out of the big Brother house this Friday.

But his annoying girlfriend Lisa could be worth a bet to be the first one to be evicted from the Big Brother house at odds of 18-1.

Her Nine-And-A-Half Weeks performance with her chunky monkey boyfriend in the diary room sealed it for me. I felt quite sick watching her shove those strawberries into his big fat gob. She covered him in cream and chocolate, but not herself in glory.

And can someone please tell me, how can two 40-somethings get so drunk on half a bottle of champagne each?

Oh, weren’t they a wheeze when they came out of the diary room singing Eye of the Tiger and acting like teenagers.

It was like kicking-out time at Starbase*, when I was 15. It was like they’d topped up on White Lightning in the woods before the disco and they were acting drunk at the end of the night because they thought that was how they should act.

Mario crawling out of the diary room on all fours, her leading him out like a out-of-proportion dog. Pathetic!

The daggers from certain housemates told the whole story. Whichever one of those two doesn’t go this week, they’ll surely be up for eviction again next week.

Without Mario in the house, his boyfriend – sorry, I mean girlfriend – will quite possibly crumple and die in a corner. Without her around, he would just be more of a sleaze than he already is.

But there is one more reason I would love to see those lapsed-body builder legs climb the BB stairs back to the outside world on Friday. Her hyena laugh!

That cackle is so irritating, especially when she finishes it off with that grating big scream after one of his shit jokes. It will be a relief when I don’t have to see them together again.

Cringiest moment so far: “He’s going to have to have a shower, Big Brother,” she said, staring into his Rambo-chocolate-marked doe-eyed face with her fluttery and suggestive over-made-up eyes.

Yuck. Pass me the bucket – I’m going to be sick like a teenager outside Starbase. It’s going to be noisy.

It’s down to these two in my mind. Paddy Power are offering Lisa at 18-1, Mario at 13-8 and Steph at 13-8 with Luke, who looks safe for at least another week, at 66-1.

And, while Alexandra continues to crucify herself with those manic and completely nonsensical outbursts, it seems whoever survives may be safe for another week, too.

(*Please note: Starbase was an underage disco in Torquay in the 1980s. Like the rest of the town, it has now been knocked down and replaced with flats.)

Written by Richard Hughes

I’m afraid for poor, old blind Scot Mikey!

Seriously, how the hell’s he going to survive in the Big Brother house without his trusty guide dog Mario? Surely he’s gonna be crashing round the place, banging into things and crying a lot?

Mario, of course, is up for eviction – and Paddy Power have him at 2/1 and their second favourite to get the chop after Steph, his fake wife. So it seems Mario’s carefully thought out strategy of leading the blind guy around hasn’t had the effect he so desired. It hasn’t made him look like Mr Caring at all. Just a bit of a cock.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more blindingly obvious and see-through ploy to win votes. The Sun, bless their corporate socks, called “Beefcake” Mario, a “big bully” yesterday, while I prefer “twat”.

And since he has been able to pair himself up with the ‘lovely’ (man-like) Lisa – after his fake wedding to Steph – it has confirmed just how vile he is. How vile they are, in fact.

“Ohhh, I love Mikey and that’ll do me fine… I’m out of here”. Okay, not a direct Mario quote, but it was something like that, just a little more creepy. Lisa – nod, nod.

The fake wedding was a genius move by BB. It was a brilliant way to set up two of the most easiest-to-take-the-piss-out-of oddballs in the house.

When Steph is almost in tears because her shades are broke, it’s hard to be sympathetic. A direct quote: “We’ll I’m not going to bed, I want them fixed…”

“D’you not understand, they’re broken on the hinge, they need properly fixing.” Get a life.
Sorry, I digress… I will tackle Steph tomorrow.

At Paddy Power she is the favourite to go at 4-9, with Mario 2/1, Lisa 9-1 and chirpy northerner Luke the outsider (not the first time he’s felt like that, I’m sure) at 33/1.

Today is Mario (Shaun, as he was christened) and right now, I want to whisper into Mikey’s ear: “Be careful, there’s a lot of chairs and tables in there.”

Otherwise, I can see the furniture crashing around him and everyone else in the house completely ignoring the blind bloke.

Oh, until they realise he has a chance of winning and become guide dogs too of course…

Story by Richard Hughes

Yes, everyone’s favourite show to hate is back.

There’s no middle ground here. You either love Big Brother or you hate it. And I am very firmly in the ‘love it’ camp. But then, I like Marmite too.

There are 16 housemates this time. And, as always, it’s taken me a day or two to get my head around them. Always, there are those who spring out like puppies at a rescue home, while there are also those who sit at the back of the kennel shaking and waiting for a kindly soul to take pity on them.

Well, here are the Big Brother betting odds for all six million new housemates to win, with help from Paddy Power.

In the springy category this time are Mario (or Shaun as his parents know him 25/1), Stephanie (his fake, slightly wired new ‘wife’ 25/1), Lisa (his real squeeze 40/1), Mikey (the blind Scottish cross-dressing comedian 9-2) and Kathriya (or Cookie, the mad one and early favourite 7/2).

Then there are the shakers. You have Darnell (the American albino with the cool swagger 11/2), Luke (the northern straight-edge, who would run a mile if you played him Minor Threat or Champion 6/1), Dale (the looker who failed to become a footballer and who is looking to bag some “fanny” in the house 12/1), Dennis (the inevitable gay 33/1), and Mohamed (the one with the coolest afro since Shaft 14/1).

After that, you have Rex (the chef who looks like he should have been in Lock Stock 12\1), and the giggly girls – Rachel (13-2), Jennifer (25/1), Becky (9/1), Sylvia (66/1) and Alexandra (100/1).

This final lot are a mixture between the both. Not sure whether to bound around with abandon or sit back and wait for the Family Right.

But watch this space. It’s these few that sometimes surprise us. Alexandra has already shown a bit of grit by standing up during the fake wedding and saying her piece – “It’s a sham, I tell you!” – and then there was the argument with Mikey over the stag night knickers!

And, stop press, Becky was the first one to get her tits out just before 1am this morning. Yes, I was watching. And yes, I am already hooked – and yes, I will be here every day for the next two weeks to tell you what I think.

You might not always agree with me, but it doesn’t make you right and me wrong… Maybe you should put your money where your Big Mouth is!!

Go on, have the courage of your convictions and have a punt at Paddy Power. I’m starting with a cheeky pound on Alex while her odds are so high – she’s got to be worth an early quid at that price.

There’s money to be made in that there house, you know!

Story by Richard Hughes