S Club 7 were good weren’t they? They all danced around in a line, singing about reaching for stars, wearing white and making everyone with ears wish they’d be born deaf. Still, idiots everywhere bought their music until 2003 when they broke up under a cloud of sheer indifference.
Since then, the only member you’re likely to remember is Jo..erm.. thingy who went on Big Brother and participated in some racist bullying alongside Jade Goody or maybe you remember Rachel Stevens because she was the good looking one and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day.
So, when they saw the recent comeback success of similar white wearing band Steps, they all got together and decided they’d quite like to cash in on this, regardless of whether you like it or not.
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And just when we thought Alex Reid’s career couldn’t sink any lower… he announces that he’s due to tour the country and strip off in front of hundreds of people night after night.
Fresh from getting engaged to, and talking about wanting babies with, fellow former Celebrity Big Brother alumna Chantelle Houghton, Alex has announced that he’s due to star in the play, yes someone’s actually cast him in a play, Wildboyz.
And people say that theatre is too high-brow. Read More >>>
Premieres for big blockbusters usually take place in cinemas with names like ODEON, CINEWORLD, GRAUMAN’S or BOGNOR REGIS CINEMASCOPE but it seems that the makers of Paranormal Activity are positively itching to associate their horrifying, overdone claptrap with Channel 5′s flagship horrifying, overdone claptrap.
And, as such, the premiere of Paranormal Activity III took place in front of a star-studded audience inside the Big Brother compound proving once and for all that crossover episodes are never as realistic as you hope.
It had been expected that Channel 5 would take the opportunity of having a scary film playing in the compound to systematically murder all of the housemates and celebrities who were assembled inside and the world (100 people whose remotes were broken) watched on with bated breath, waiting for the axe-murderer to be released into the house.
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There’s not much of Pamela Anderson we haven’t seen, thanks to a couple of grainy sex tapes that proved very popular with lonely swine all those years ago. Yet, oddly, there’s something very likeable about Pammy.
Is it because she’s self-deprecating? Probably not. You’re into the whole ‘boobs’ thing aren’t you?
Well, less pleasant than the female form, squeezed into a high-cut horror-bikini is skidmarks. That’s right. Skidders. For some reason, Pamela has entered the Big Brother house, now that all the other celebrities have gone, and promised to leave a skidmark in there. We have no idea what she means, but it doesn’t sound very hygienic.
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Click over for our stupid Celebrity Big Brother Liveblog! Keep hitting refresh because we’re idiots who can’t work things out! HURRAY! Things kick-off around 9pm when the hard liquor kicks in!
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Big Brother is back in a week’s time and some people (notably the people who work for Channel Five and Holy Moly) are getting very, very excited! However, all is not well at the BB house as our exclusive pictures show!
Pictures have been released of the new Big Brother house and many have cooed about how glamorous it looks (with others shrugging and thinking that it kinda looks like any other BB House).
However, what Endemol, makers of the show, aren’t telling anyone is that the show is danger of being cancelled after it was found that the Elstree studio has been infested with weasels!
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It’s been a roller-coaster week, what with red-top tabloids revealing that Charlie Sheen is DEFINITELY going into the Big Brother house only for his reps to categorically deny it and the papers going all quiet only to reveal that Pamela Anderson is DEFINITELY going in only for her reps to probably deny it as of this morning as well.
Well, we can all play that game and hecklerspray can exclusively announce the full list of within-Channel-Five-budget celebrities who are DEFINITELY going into the awful Big Brother house this year!
Although we might go a bit quiet tomorrow.
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Big Brother has always split the UK into two camps: Those that don’t like it and those that don’t watch it. And now that (Channel) Five have gone and bought it, many of us will wearily switch on our sets just to get angry for an hour every night.
And like the Big Brothers that came before it, this one has the usual ragtag of celebrities being linked to it before it airs.
The biggest name attached is Charlie Sheen, who was of interest some months ago because it looked like he was going to kill himself with his own madness. The whole world went on some kind of post-modern suicide watch, egging him on toward death, failing to show the required remorse until he actually joined the choir invisible. Alas, he went and fixed himself and went back to being a boring nobody. However, there is hope. We’ll use Michael Barrymore as our guide.
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