It’s that time of the year again when music lovers gather in a field to celebrate the thing they love, live music.

There are all sorts of festivals to cater for all sorts of musical tastes in all four corners of the world. The main ones kick off at this time of year and hecklerspray is here to tell you all you need to know about each festival, who the essential people are to see and which act to avoid so you can queue up for the overflowing shit-filled portaloos.

We begin with the first big festival-type affair of the year, this weekend's Radio 1’s Big Weekend down in Kent. This particular bash doesn’t have a fixed location, but over the years it has proved to be a popular event for all who can get a ticket.

Now that another man's unborn baby is living in her stomach, Jessica Alba runs the risk of alienating her biggest market - the horny teenage boy.

And while the pregnancy means that they won't get to see Jessica Alba running around in her skimpies on film for a while, Jessica has thrown them a proverbial bone by talking at length about how big and squashy her newly-engorged boobs are. 

Teenagers, don't wank yourself into a blistered stump just yet - you haven't exactly heard what Jessica Alba has to say yet.