bible - HecklerSpray

Celebrating Halloween This Weekend? Then This Man Hates You

October 29th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

October’s rubbish. Not only do we have to piss around with our clocks to make our days darker, but it gets a lot colder.

But there is a plus to all of this – Halloween! Hooray for Halloween indeed because, unlike Christmas, it isn't promoted to us three months before it takes place and we don't have to have awkward family meals with aunts we?d rather not see.

Everyone benefits from Halloween. The kids get to pester neighbours and pick up tons of free sweets. Adults get to pointlessly dress up as ghosts, skeletons and zombies and get drunk at various parties and clubs. But of course, some people in society are all bah humbug about Halloween. This time it's the turn of the Christians to get their Bible in a twist and proclaim that it's evil. Just like this man, see his rant after the jump.

WEBTHUMP! Monday 17 November 2008

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – This woman thinks people watch her because she’s funny. It’s not. It’s her tits…

9 – Finally! Someone’s made tennis interesting – Moolf

8 – Daniel Craig, read and learn: Bond’s best puns – Maxim

7 – X-ray pictures of stupid dogs – Unfabulouz

6 – And here’s how to tell if your cat wants to kill you – Catswhothrowupgrass

5 – Here’s how to get endless brilliant TV shows for free. 1) Go to MySpace. 2) Be American. Grr – MySpace

4 – Will mixing Pop Rocks and soda kill you? No – I Am Bored

Matthew McConaughey Unironically Names Baby After Biblical Figure

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As the world slowly comes to terms with the fact that Matthew McConaughey has successfully spawned, fears over what he’d name his baby have gradually taken hold.

But it’s OK – Matthew McConaughey isn’t like all these other ridiculous celebrities with their weird predilictions for nutty baby names. Instead Matthew McConaughey has chosen a simple, humble name for his new son – Levi Alves McConaughey – after his favourite character in the Bible.

By naming his baby Levi, Matthew McConaughey must secretly hope that the boy grows up to be the equal of the biblical figure – an astrologist who once stabbed the entire male population of a city to death because one of them might have raped his sister. Still, rather that than making romantic comedies for a living like his dad, eh?