Posts tagged as:

Beyonce

Mariah Carey Isn’t Exactly Giving Her Gaddafi Money Back, But She Does Feel Kinda Bad About It

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce and Nelly Furtado have stepped forward, held their hands up and said “Ah. Didn’t really know we were playing gigs for the family of despotic leader Gaddafi and getting paid with blood money. Soz.” And as such, the pair have given their pay cheques to charity, thereby, restoring a trace of belief in the [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Beyonce Gave Her Gaddafi Pennies Away Ages Ago – Eat That Nelly Furtado

by Mof Gimmers

As we all know, Nelly Furtado announced that she gave away money earned from playing a private party for the family of Libyan fucknut Colonel Gaddafi, making her look like an altruistic saint compared to everyone else. Everyone started pointing and muttering about Mariah Carey, 50 Cent, Usher and all the rest of the entertainment [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Popstars Stare Nervously At Piles Of Money From Colonel Gaddafi

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine playing a gig at the behest of Colonel ‘Do You Think He Might Have Had A Butcher Perform The Plastic Surgery On His Face?’ Gaddafi. His sons want a nice party with an internationally successful singer performing in the corner like a circus clown. “Hi Supreme Thingy Gaddafi! Great place you got here! What [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Is Beyonce All Set To Liven Up Terminally Turgid Glastonbury Festival With Headline Slot?

by Mof Gimmers

The Glastonbury festival is outrageously overrated. Acre upon acre of tree-hugging hummus weavers hump the ground in the hope that they’re near a layline while pink-faced louts in Stone Roses t-shirts consume crates of Stella ’til they fill their tent with urine. On top of these obviously good vibes, there’s the lakes of silage that [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Top 10 Badly Produced Records, Like, Ever!

by hecklerspray staff

Great songs can be spoiled by awful production and bad songs are made unbearable with awful sound. There’s millions of them out there, all making your ears’ life a misery and doing their best to make you wish you were deaf. Some of the greatest, most forward-thinking producers have been responsible for awful sounding records. [...]

4 comments Read more >>>

Kim Kardashian Supposedly Has The World’s Best Buttock Pairing

by Matthew Laidlow

If you ever wanted to open up the kitchen drawer, take out a bread knife and attempt self harming due to bone-crushing news, this is the time. Professional nobody with a sex tape Kim Kardashian has been given a dubious honour, meaning that out of the planet’s six billion plus people, her booty is the [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Beyonce Buys Jay Z The World’s Fastest Road Car Death Trap Thingy

by Mof Gimmers

You. You there. That’s right! You! You buy rubbish, thoughtless things for people! Why? Because Beyonce is showing us what proper love is like by buying her husband Jay-Z the world’s fastest road car. That’s right. Fastest car on the road, ever. And while you’re pissing about with a box of Celebrations, a home-made compilation [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Beyonce’s New Perfume Advert Will Definitely Make You Think Impure Thoughts

by Mof Gimmers

If you have even the vaguest trace of a pulse, then there’s a strong chance you fancy Beyonce Knowles. Even if you’re a massive racist, you probably still would. Well, if you think she’s looked hot in the past, brace yourself to become full-on aroused. Her advert for her new perfume, called ‘Heat’, is sexually [...]

4 comments Read more >>>

Jay-Z For President!

by Mof Gimmers

Make ‘em, make ‘em clap to this. Yes indeed, it’s mid term season in America and the promise that Eric B would be president never came true. Shame. However, Jay Z thinks he’d be a great leader of the United States of America and hecklerspray wants it to happen, just so Beyonce is First Lady! [...]

4 comments Read more >>>

Beyonce Not Pregnant According To Mum. Unless She Is.

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce has fine child bearing thighs. We’d know because we’ve spent countless hours staring at them in all their majesty. Of course, to make the entire human race jealous, Jay-Z spend a fair bit of his time between them. Having sex. Sex with Beyonce. Naked. Rapping. And the rumours circulating at the moment is that [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →