Beyonce - HecklerSpray

5 Celebrity Families Who Need Reality Shows

August 29th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Kim Kardashian recently announced that they were filming season 17849018 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and it really made me realize that I might finally be over keeping up with the Kardashians/Jenners. I mean, they’re still great to blog about, but show wise they’re just no fun anymore, you know?

There are way more celebrity families I’d rather be getting a BTS look at, so of course I made a list. I mean, there is no chance in hell any of these shows would happen, but a girl can dream, right?

Is Beyonce Already Pregnant Again?

July 10th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Anyone who follows Beyonce and Jay Z’s relationship know they are fixated on the number 4. Bey’s birthday is September 4th, Jay’s is November 4th, they got married on April 4th (4/4), Beyonce released and album called “4”, Jay Z released an album called “4:44”, and their oldest daughter’s middle name is Ivy a.k.a. IV a.k.a. 4 (they also have matching IV tattoos on their ring fingers).

But are they so fucking committed to the number four that they’ve decided to go for a fourth child?

Beyonce and Jay-Z Drop Joint Album

June 17th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I know this happened yesterday, but I was mega exhausted when it happened, so just let me live. Anyway, the biggest power couple that the music industry will ever see, Jay-Z and Beyonce, pulled a total Jay-Z and Beyonce by dropping a surprise joint album, thus completing their trilogy of growth.

In 2016, Beyonce dropped Lemonade, talking about her personal experiences with her relationship with Jay. In 2017, Jay dropped 4:44 to discuss his side of their relationship, now in 2018, they dropped Everything is Love, their joint album to let us know how they’re all good now.

Beyonce Finally Shows Us Her Damn Kids

June 7th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Beyonce is Beyonce, which means early last year she went all extra by posting that dramatic floral arrangement/lingerie pic to announce she was pregnant with twins. Then when the twins were a couple of months old, she went all extra again by introducing them to the world by once again doing a photoshoot with some flowers and a fancy silk curtain she used as a top.

Well, it’s been almost a damn year, and we haven’t seen or heard from those damn babies since. I was beginning to think Beyonce and Jay Z lost the damn things in one of their mansions, but then I remembered: this is Beyonce. She’ll whip them out again when she needs to be extra. Cue Beyonce and Jay Z’s On The Run II Tour visuals.

Who Bit Beyonce?: An Investigative Report

March 26th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Tiffany Haddish, who has only recently become someone I care about, but I find her delightful, did an interview with GQ that was published on Monday, in which she claims an actress bit Beyonce on the face at a party back in December.

Haddish didn’t say who the actress was, which leaves us all asking the question: Who the fuck bit Beyonce’s face at last year’s Christmas party? (It was December, so I assume it had to be a Christmas party?)

Blue Ivy Carter is So Much Richer Than Me

May 3rd, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

This past weekend, Jay Z, Beyonce, and their oldest daughter, Blue Ivy, attended the Second Annual Wearable Art Gala which benefits Jay’s Shawn Carter Foundation. During the gala, there was an art auction and Blue, who just turned six, big a whopping $19 THOUSAND on a piece.

Neither Beyonce or Jay stopped her, in fact, they all seemed to think it was absolutely adorable, and I’m pretty sure she actually won the piece in the end. So, in case you needed to feel extra poor today, Beyonce and Jay Z’s 6-year-old just bought a painting worth more than my first two cars combined.

HecklerSpray Advent Day 9: Beyonce’s Twins are Born

December 9th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

This year saw Beyonce release two very very extra Instagram announcements. First, back in February, she announced she was having twins. Then, in July, she returned to Instagram to reveal the twins to the world.

Though we haven’t seen too much of Rumi and Sir Carter (love Bey and Jay, but I really don’t feel the name Sir), the arrival of these twin music messiahs has definitely been one of the high points of 2017.

Jay-Z Admits Listening to ‘Lemonade’ was Uncomfortable

November 30th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Jay-Z recently sat down with The New York Times and gave potentially the most personal interview of his career. He talked about growing up poor and black in America, becoming famous, his mother’s sexuality, his hopes for his children, his relationship with Kanye West, and, of course, his marriage to Beyonce.

In the interview, Jay finally admitted the obvious: he cheated on Beyonce. And while they both worked through it and made the best albums of their careers–Lemonade and 4:44–listening to each other’s music about Jay’s wandering dick wasn’t exactly comfortable. Shocker, I know.

Taylor Swift’s New Music is Here, and I’ve Got A LOT of Opinions

August 25th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. You know, you really had me for a second last week with those zingers at your ass-grabbing trial. I really liked you for about 30 seconds, but, as I predicted in that very blog, I knew it wouldn’t last.

Well, last night Taylor Swift dropped her new single “Look What You Made Me Do” and, to the shock of no one, it made me want to backhand her for so much fucking reasons. Let’s begin, shall we?

Taylor’s mess of a new song features such profound lyrics as:

Beyoncé Has Finally Revealed an Image of the Twin Messiahs

July 14th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

One month ago, after having the shortest pregnant on the fucking planet, Beyoncé unleashed twin Messiah’s Sir (ugh) and Rumi (meh?) from her sacred, golden womb. No one has heard or seen much of Queen Bey since…until now!

Beyoncé decided to show off her twins in the most Beyoncé way possible, releasing their first image (seen above) on her Instagram account. If you’re wondering if that’s the same floral arrangement she used for her Instagram pregnancy reveal pic, I do believe it is. Who knew Beyoncé was such a cheap bitch?