HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

9 Total Badasses With Totally Bad Hair

October 8th, 2012 By Tony McMillen

A badass by definition doesn't give a fuck what anybody else thinks. They?re going to do things their own way whether you like it or not, that's a given. It's a large part of what draws us to these figures in real life as well as in pop culture. We revere them for being able to do all the things we can't, or at the very least don't do for fear of reprisal.

Unfortunately, this also means that many of the most badass also sport the most ridiculous and most non-badass hairstyles ever glimpsed. This is not coincidence, rather, this is merely an extension of the baddassery that each of these characters possess. Their terrible (and trust me terrible is really the appropriate word here) hairstyles are irreverence in the grandest sense.

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Westlife Say They’ll Never Get Back Together While We Preemptively Call Them Hypocrites

November 4th, 2011 By Michael Park

Hello. Are you a Westlife fan, troubled by the news that your Princes are going away to enjoy their moneyed-lives with their families and friends? Are you worried that there will suddenly be a void of mawkish, soaring ballads to sooth you while you self-harm in a bath of ice?

It’s bad news we’re afraid.

Westlife’s members have confirmed that the musical equivalent of an itchy jumper are unlikely to ‘do a Take That’ and get back together in a few years. Is it because Take That were always more relevant to pop music or is it because the Boyzone tribute market isn’t as lucrative as it once was? Who knows. Certainly not us.

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Top 10 Adam Buxton Videos

September 20th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Are you aware of who Adam Buxton is? That’s right! He’s one half of Adam & Joe! He’s that funny bloke with the beard who you can never remember the name of who did that cool thing that time!

He’s part man, part meme.

And, as he’s always putting new videos out and continually up to no good, we thought we’d compile his best videos for you to disagree with and vomit into your hand with laughter about. Okay?

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Top 10 Wizards and Sorcerers

March 18th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

Wizards are great aren’t they? They get to wear those funny pointy hats and not get accused of being in some dreadful cult and, better yet, magic comes out of the end of their fingers!

They’re like Siegfried and Roy, only without the accidental mauling by an albino tiger!

And what has got us thinking about wizardry? Well, The Sims: Medieval asked us to think about our fave sorcerers and magic men! We like thinking about magic men. It is much better than thinking about those stoopid celebrities all the time!

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

gillian anderson creased or folded best worst of week burn after reading team gb son of rambow clone wars star warsThis week’s list.

Folded:

  • Son of Rambow on DVD (the most heart-warming movie experience of the year so far. Blub)
  • Cool retro poster for Burn After Reading (God, how good does this film look?)
  • John Akii-Bua (interesting documentary on BBC4 about this legendary athlete a couple of weeks back. You probably didn’t watch it)
  • Team GB, or the Great British Team to give them their less shit title (well, we done alright, didn’t we?)
  • Gillian Anderson (the movie sucked, but she has absolutely still got it)

Creased:

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

katy perry creased or folded best worst pringles paul newman olympics madonnaThis week’s uppers and downers.

Folded:

  • Prawn cocktail Pringles (these really make sense)
  • I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry (annoying toy lesbian or taking the piss? Probably taking the piss, so laugh)
  • Madonna‘s jiggly boobs in the 4 Minutes video (okay, so we’re not Nuts magazine, but we’ve got eyes)
  • Genuine Childs (they guys composed the menu music for The Bourne Identity DVD, just in case you were wondering)
  • The XXIX Olympiad (numbingly compulsive. Quick, badminton is on!)

Creased:

  • The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (the curse of Rob Cohen strikes again)
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Top 25 Bond Deaths

September 20th, 2012 By David Schwartz

As far as James Bond is concerned – a license to kill is a license to thrill.

And what better way to exemplify that fact then to look back through all the James Bond movies and pick out the most memorable and gory death scenes.

Now, we realise some of you might think such a list to be slightly in poor taste. We know your type. You believe all killing is wrong – even if it means wasting a homicidal maniac who is hell-bent on world domination – and glorifying it only adds to the problem.

Well, frankly it’s only a bloody movie. It’s all just make-believe and we are having a bit of fun. We bet you are the kind of people who think there is something wrong with beating innocent bystanders to death with a baseball bat in GTA IV. It’s a game, duh! And you think we are the strange ones!

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Lindsay Lohan Wants A Kylie And Rihanna Musical Orgy!

March 24th, 2009 By Paul Sorrenti

OMG! Lindsay Lohan Wants A Kylie And Rihanna Orgy!!!Lindsay Lohan wants to merge the musical styles of Kylie and Rihanna for her upcoming album.

Lindsay Lohan is determined to pursue her music career, according to The Daily Telegraph (of Australia), with Kylie's and Rihanna's back catalogue the inspiration behind her new record. Lohan said:

"I want it to be dance. I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue meets Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it. I've already done three songs. I'm doing my third in New York, actually."

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The Spraylist 2007: TV Shows Of The Year

August 7th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

TV shows best 2007 flight of the conchords, sopranos, 30 rock, studio 60 on the sunset strip, jeremy kyle, heroesDecember 28, and an admission. The reason why we aren't here throwing celebrity news at you like bananas in a monkey factory is because the whole hecklerspray family has gone camping.

It isn't going well. Laidlow, hammered on alcopops, has thrown up in Lindseth's sleeping bag and made him cry. Laverty tripped over the guy rope and dropped all our eggs on a cowpat. C J Davies keeps walking into a tree head-first again and again, convinced he'll be able to move it with the power of his mind and nobody has seen Annette since she went off to film that witch's hut. Only Stuart Heritage has managed to rise above this pathetic scene. Really, he's like some sort of hero or something.

Anyway, want to know what our favourite TV shows of the year were? Good, they're all here…

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The Spraylist 2007: Movies Of The Year

August 7th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Movies Best 2007 Michael Clayton. The Lives Of Others, Beowulf, Die Hard, The PrestigeDecember 27. A day even more boring than Boxing Day. The turkey's more rubbery, the decorations are more tatty and you've eaten so much Haribo you've started to hallucinate.

But fear not, because hecklerspray's very own personal best-of-2007 lists are here again to save the day. Literally save the day. Like Superman would. As you know by now, the Spraylist is a chance to shine a light on the essentially contradictory nature of the senior hecklerspray writers by getting them to reveal a bunch of stuff they liked this year, even though chances are all the stuff's been slagged off on these pages within the last 12 months anyway. Probably by the same people who are now saying they liked it. It's a tough life.

Today – our favourite movies of 2007…

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