After rumours of pregnancy have been quashed by Britney’s camp, with her folks saying the bloat was purely down to her medication, she has now been snapped with a shrinking tum.

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Lady rapper Remy Ma – of hits like Guilty, Crazy, Everyday I'm Fucking Him and several other songs you're equally unlikely to have heard of that have less amusing titles – has been convicted of shooting a woman in the belly last year. 

So with Remy Ma facing a 25-year jail term, Foxy Brown still locked up and Lil' Kim's record as an ex-con, that means the only rapping female without a criminal past is now Natasha Bedingfield. And that'll only last until the police finally nail her for all those ivory tombstones she's been embezzling in her teeth.

Typical. Since its creation, hip-hop has always been negatively stereotyped as a music that constantly glamorises excessive street violence, and it's been a label that's been hard to shift. Then yesterday we reported that the LA Times had to apologise to Diddy for blaming him for a shooting he played no part in. Finally, with this high-profile backtracking by a noted newspaper it seemed like hip-hop was starting to turn the tide on its own self-image.

Then Remy Ma got convicted of shooting a woman in the stomach during an argument about money. Nice timing, moron.

Prior to last year, Remy Ma was best known for being the only female rapper to have a name equally inspired by the cooking rat from Ratatouille and your mother. But all that changed last July when, during an argument with over some money in New York, Remy Ma shot Makeda Barnes-Joseph in the abdomen, piercing her colon and hitting her in the rectum.

Remy Ma had claimed that the gun went off accidentally during a struggle – but yesterday a jury decided that it didn't, and Remy Ma was convicted of the shooting. And, as a tough, street-smart rapper, Remy Ma took the news on the chin. The New York Post reports:

"Oh, my God! My son! My son!" she screamed, referring to her 8-year-old, as she was hauled out of court to jail, where she faces the possibility of spending the next 25 years behind bars. Remy, 26, was found guilty of assault, weapons-possession and coercion charges for blasting Makeda Barnes Joseph, 24, with a .45-caliber handgun outside a club in the Meatpacking District on July 14, 2007… Remy initially took the verdict stoically. But after Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Rena Uviller ruled that she should be remanded to jail until her sentencing next month, one of Joseph's supporters sarcastically waved at her and said, "Bye, bye" – after which the rapper broke into tears.

It's unfortunate that Remy Ma's eight-year-old son won't be able to see his mother properly until he's about 33 years old now, but it's probably even more unfortunate that Remy Ma didn't even tell him that she was even going to court in the first place. We look forward to seeing what horrible emotional scars he'll be left to cope with from all of this.

But, as harrowing as this conviction sounds, it wasn't all bad news for Remy Ma yesterday. Her charges of gang assault, witness tampering, witness intimidation and assault in a separate incident were all dropped, which means that the next eight to 25 years that Remy Ma spends in jail for shooting a woman through the arse will pretty much be a non-stop party.

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BAWLING REMY IS GUILTY – NYP 

We love it as much as we love watching The Notebook. In a sauna. Wearing a parka. And burlap underwear.  

And if there’s anything we love more than American Idol, it's following past American Idol contestants on their road to guaranteed fame and fortune.Take Carrie Underwood for example. She’s twanged her melodies all the way to the top of the country music world, and it isn’t because she’s worked that midriff or had unclassy cleavage, either, because girlfriend says she isn’t into showing a lot of skin.  

You see, kids? You don’t need to know that Europe is a continent, not a country to be successful. Just have classy cleavage and you’re golden. 

In the January issue of Glamour magazine, former American Idol finalist Carrie Underwood shares her views on the hot button topic of body image. Like many celebrities these days, Carrie Underwood’s weight has been followed closely by the press. It’s such a fascinating topic, really. The sooner we can convince young starlets to become human Shrinky Dinks, the sooner we can start railing on them for being deathly skinny and shake our heads in disgust at what terrible role models they are for young girls. 

Carrie Underwood really gets to the heart of the matter as the following quote from the Glamour article illustrates: 

“I definitely don’t do stomach, because nobody wants to see that… And cleavage can be done in a tasteful manner — you can be intelligent, sexy and not have boobs everywhere.” 

The statement “not having boobs everywhere” is intelligent and sexy enough all on its own if you ask us. Intelligent, sexy ladies throughout the years have often commented on not having their boobs everywhere. Seriously, Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly were all about not having their boobs go everywhere.   

Really, though, it’s a breath of fresh air to see an attractive young lady not feel like she has to flash the whole world to be successful and respected. Well done, Carrie Underwood. Well done. Now get back to making that good old fashioned country music even though we’d rather listen to an album of cats being strangled.  

Hey, Christina Aguilera, we hope you took Carrie Underwood’s message to heart before you spray yourself orange and made us all look at your big naked foetus-filled stomach all the time. Oh, wait…too late. Far, far too late.

Read more: 

Underwood Won't Show Off Her Belly – Access Hollywood