The combined musical genius of the Bee Gees and Michael Jackson cannot be disputed. Hell, it can barely be comprehended! Between the two acts is a dazzling amount of sales and a breathtaking back catalogue.

However, what also can’t be disputed is that both camps contain some of the weirdest faces in pop. Michael, of course, looks like wax ankle and in Barry Gibb, we have a man who looks like a griffin with dentures.

And the two actually teamed up. Of course, it wasn’t that long ago which means neither act was at the peak of their powers, but still, the thought of it is rather exciting! And better yet, there’s a video clip of them in action together.

Bee Gee Barry Gibb has posted a 30-second clip of an unreleased collaboration with Michael Jackson which shows the pair singing, writing and whatnot together for the track ‘All In Your Name’, which you can see below.

Obviously, we would’ve liked to see them tag-teaming on some glorious disco pop, but alas, the track was recorded in 2002 when Michael was more concerned with message songs, rather than the infinitely superior throwaway pop he once graced us with.

Gibb says:

“Michael Jackson and I were the dearest of friends, that’s simply what it was. We gravitated towards the same kind of music and we loved collaborating and he was the easiest person to write with.”

“The more we got to know each other the more those ideas entwined and it all came to this song ‘All In Your Name’.

“All in Your Name” is in fact the message that Michael wanted to send out to all of his fans all over the world that he did it all for them and for the pure love of music. I hope and pray that we all get to hear it in its entirety. This experience I will treasure forever.”

Here it is.

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There’s been rumours knocking around that one of the Bee Gees likes to have sex with people who aren’t his wife. This came about after Robin Gibb fathered a child with his housekeeper.

It wasn’t helped by the fact that, back in the ’90s, Gibb proudly crowed about how much he liked having threesomes with his wife on the Howard Stern Show. To clarify, they didn’t indulge in threesomes while on the show. Okay?

Anyway, Gibb is playing down these rumours of an open marriage, now saying that he and wife Dwina are more “conservative” than most couples.

Apparently, all that was a big wheeze and he was only joking with Stern when he said that he enjoys a sexually liberated relationship.

He said to the Daily Mail:

“It wasn’t a serious interview. Howard Stern was making up stories about his wife and other women, so I plugged into the joke. I was having fun in his world.

“We’ve never really said we have an open marriage. People like to imagine you’ve got a certain lifestyle, but it’s not quite like that at all… We actually have a very conservative relationship – more so than the average couple. We don’t drink or smoke. We’re not partying all the time. My idea of a good time is creating something and reading a good book.

Doesn’t matter though does it?

That’s because you’re now thinking of Robin Gibb’s sinewy old body writhing around in a bed between two women, looking very much like a sliver of overcooked bacon between to floury baps.

Aren’t you?

All the time, he was talking about being allowed out of the house occasionally to go and have a nice time doing boring things.

“Look, we’re not stuffed shirts. We have a free relationship. We give each other time and space to pursue activities – that doesn’t mean other people. But people have got to see it in terms of freedom of sex, because that’s the way they think. The average person can’t get it into their head that you don’t have to be talking about the physical the whole time. You can have individual freedom of space without that.”

So there you have it. You’re all perverts for thinking about Robin Gibb having sex. You dirty, dirty people. He was playing badminton while you lot were thinking about his erect member.

You make us sick.

Although, he did have it away with his housekeeper.

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Think of a collection of the worst people imaginable – they would be arrogant, stupid, irritating and thoroughly pointless. The kind of people you get writing for hecklerspray, for example.

Now imagine that collection is coming together in order to remake a movie that – as with most old movies – needs no remake and you’re left with the situation we have today.

For you see, Simon Cowell and Timbaland are rumoured to have joined forces to create a remake of Saturday Night Fever. Starring Zac Efron.

For proof there is no such thing as god, see the above short paragraph.

A remake is one thing – it takes the setting of the original, reworks it usually in a daft way, misses the point of the first film and then craps out an unrecognisable lump of cud where once stood a thoroughly recognisable lump of cud.

A remake of a film where the soundtrack is the most celebrated aspect of it is another thing altogether, especially when someone like Timbaland is on-board to re-jig the whole thing. Yes, the man seems capable of making anything a hit, but that’s because he makes the music he is involved with incredibly devoid of substance, vapid and generally appealing to the lowest common denominator through sheer weight of simplicity.

Actually, that sounds pretty much like the Bee Gees, only less terrifying and high-pitched. In other words; it’s a great idea – go for it!

Simon Cowell, on the other hand, won’t be involved to flex his creative muscles – even if they are just as withered as Timbaland‘s. No, the high-panted king of Television For Morons is sure to be involved for far more benevolent reasons. Namely: the fact that it will make him at least four shitloads of money.

Why do we know this? Because it will apparently have everybody’s favourite “less character than an actual Action Man doll” actor Zac Efron fronting the new Saturday Night Fever.

That’s a manchild second only to Robert Pattinson in the ‘making little girls and spinsters part with their cash’ stakes, so it’s yet another licence to print moolah for Cowell and co.

A source told The Sun newspaper:

“Simon has been looking into buying the rights for years and opened discussions with Robert about the remake.

“The charm offensive has been in full swing and they made a breakthrough over the last couple of weeks.”

No one knows when the film will be out, who else will be in it or how much of a direct rip-off of Step Up 2: The Streets it will be. Though hecklerspray hopes it will be a massive rip-off of the aformentioned classic of cinema.

We really need to get into this “making stuff to get a lot of money” business. It seems easy enough.