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Beardyman

It’s ironic that the golden rule of capitalism is at work in something as historically left-of-centre as festivals. This summer the power of the market is separating the wheat from the chaff in festival-land.

The beauty of it is, that whilst money may be able to book a big headliner,  it requires imagination to create a festival that fills a gap in the market. Sure, the results might not always be nice (the unwelcome rumours that the marvellous Truck Festival may be bust for instance) but it’s sure to guarantee that no-one’s complacent.

Camp Bestival was started as a more family-friendly version of Bestival. As the popularity of taking kids to festivals has grown, so has this (now medium sized) festival. The Sunday Best lot know their audience and they have enough confidence in their own instincts that they don’t feel the need to schedule the acts in order of record sales. An obvious example is the headliner on Friday night. Other festivals might relegate Blondie to a tent, and stick the flavour of the year on the main stage, but Sunday Best know their audience. Obvious really since the man in charge is a DJ (Rob Da Bank) and therefore has an intuitive grasp of what the next tune should be.

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Let’s talk about time, shall we? Time is important. Time is vitally important. Time is- we’re led to believe- money. The amount of time that we spend doing things directly relates to the amount of time that we have remaining to do other things like drinking tea and masturbating while crying into a woman’s garter.

No-one likes to see their time wasted. People who waste the time of others are tantamount to criminals which is why you can be charged with ‘Wasting Police Time’. When you do find yourself wasting your own time, you call it procrastination and you continue to watch videos of puppies frolicking in fields.

Ironically, this particular instalment of Badvertising is kept to a minimum length to illustrate a point.

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10 – Get ready to experience ‘the opposite of arousal’ – Mychemicaltoilet

9 – And now, in TV Reviews That Are Much Better Than The TV Show They’re Reviewing, here’s Ladette To LadyWatchwithmothers

8 – Beardyman: Annoying or genius? Discuss – YouTube

7 – Similarly, do using these novelty binbags make you a hilarious prankster or the world’s biggest bellend? – Domesticsluttery

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