Everyone has been talking about Brad Pitt’s beard. You may have looked at it and known exactly why he has one. You thought that a keratinized, hardened tissue shaft grew from a follicle in his skin. After an initial anagen phase, which is the period when most human hair produced and thereby, containing an abundance of melanin, Pitt’s chin hair reached the catagen phase, which sees a plateau in growth, before paving the way for the resting period, or telogen phase, which sees the hair falling out, making way for new growth. If you thought that, you’re wrong on many levels.

That’s because our Brad has grown a beard out of ‘boredom’. Yep, the Twelve Monkeys star appeared at the premiere of the film Kick-Ass, which Pretty Pitty helped produce. If you want some more celebrity names, he attended the after-party with the film’s star Aaron Johnson, director Matthew Vaughn and Gary Barlow, Dizzee Rascal and Tom Ford. What a circle jerk that is, eh readers?

So yeah, boredom? That’s the only reason?

Pitt said:

“It’s boredom – no other reason than that.”

But maybe, just maybe, Pitt grew a beard because he’s been hanging around with loads of whisky swilling hirsute ruffians from Scotland.

You see, Brad, who next stars in The Tree Of Life with Sean Penn, said Scotland holds a special place in his heart, because he spent time there when he was younger.

“I went to Scotland and travelled around years ago – I went everywhere, saw it all.”

“Edinburgh and Glasgow were special – the architecture is something there. Charles Rennie Mackintosh, he was the man. I even went up to Loch Ness to see what that was all about.”

“Last year Matthew and I were looking at doing some filming up there. We had a look at some castles. We’ll definitely be back.”

So, women of Scotchland, if you’re not one of those weeds who cries at the very sight of some chin-fuzz, then you might want to iron your best knickers and get out the nicest deodorant you have because sexy wexy Brad Pitt plans to visit you all again AND he probably won’t bring the wife.

What happens in Scotland stays in Scotland.

Feel free to discuss at great length whether men with beards should be trusted or not, whether Brad Pitt looks better with or without one and all that important stuff in the comments. Or imagine the answers to each other. It’s up to you really. We ain’t the boss of you.

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This picture is of hecklerspray editor Stuart Heritage’s beard.

As some of you already know, Stu promised that he’d grow this beard for a month to see what it looked like and then shave it off. That month is up, but now he doesn’t know whether to keep it or not. And this is where you come in.

Stu has already assembled a list of pros and cons about shaving the beard off, as follows:

PROS:

* He won’t look homeless

* He won’t look like one of The Spin Doctors

* He won’t look like Anthony Worrall Thompson

* Girls will theoretically want to kiss him more

* He’ll be able to eat a Dominoes Double Decadence pizza without his face ending up looking like a hairy exploded cyst.

CONS:

* He’s lazy

* Shaving it off might hurt

* It does look sort of good, doesn’t it?

* Chuck Norris

So what’s it to be? Beard on or beard off? It’s up to you. Fill in this poll-thing below and tomorrow night Stu will collate the results and abide completely by your decision. For a bit, at least. Your vote counts!

Normally, Disney World is a magical place where pixies float through the air on fluffy pink tufts of cotton candy, fairies bless each child with things like good fortune and longevity, and hat-wearing man-dogs do stuff too.

Sometimes though, the place is just a target for lawsuits that state it has religious undertones that persecute Muslims because of their head dress & facial scruff – and that’s just the women!

Disney of course denies all this – but it hasn’t stopped one young man from suing them on this very premise. He tried to get a job with them – and was denied because of his turban and facial hair.

Apparently, he didn’t apply for anything in the Aladdin department.

Sukhbir Channa is a man with a name that looks absolutely crazy when fully written out. He’s also a man who got denied employment at Disney World – and he is not pleased about it. To show his displeasure he’s forged a lawsuit in the fiery depths of Jahannum using nothing but molten ore, incredible heat, a pen, some paper and a lawyer.

TMZ reports:

“In his suit, Sukhbir Channa says when he applied for a job at Disney World in 2006, he was told his turban, beard, and long hair didn’t conform to the “Disney look”. Here’s the goofy part: just a few months before, in 2005, he says he marched as a toy soldier in a Disney parade with no problems– but then his turban was hidden by a big toy soldier hat.”

The suit is seeking $1,000,000 in damages to compensate for the several hours a week of minimum wage he probably would have made twirling a baton that had a set of mouse ears on each end. That would be enough to buy him a hot dog on park premises.

Disney was called to give the other side of the story, but he’s been dead for at least 50 years or something, and his previous phone number now belongs to a Taco Bell. We also tried calling the actual Disney corporation, but nobody here could figure out how to dial an area code.

Eventually our mother was called for a comment as her number is first on our contact list and therefore not difficult to dial. She said:

“Did you hear? Nanna fell again.”

Investigation is currently underway to determine if Disney somehow made our Nanna fall, because she too has a beard.