Eurovision 2009 is only two days away now. It’s exciting stuff, not least because it means all this is nearly finished. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

And, for the penultimate time, we’d like to remind you that we’re going to be covering the Eurovision Song Contest live right here, this Saturday at 8pm. And if you do one thing this weekend, make sure you read it and comment and stuff. It’s very important that you do, because otherwise we’ll cry. And nobody wants to see that.

But first, here’s the Eurovision 2009 rundown for Svetlana Loboda from the Ukraine…

Ukraine · Svetlana Loboda, Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl)

If any of you ever wanted to know what Cirque Du Soleil would be like if they staged a pornography show in the canteen of a factory that makes motor oil, then the start of the video to Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) by the Ukraine’s Eurovision entry Svetlana Lobodo should give you a fairly decent idea. And if you ever wanted to know what this oily cake-based trapeze porn would be like if it was soundtracked by a drunk mariachi robot, then the rest of the video should give you a fairly decent idea. In fact, we’re doing Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) a disservice here, because it’s one of the very few Eurovision entries this year to sound like it comes from the future. We’ve actually got quite the soft spot for it, especially since Svetlana seems determined to finish as many of the lines of her song as possible by shouting the word ‘BOM!’ which, by any yardstick, is mental.

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