Articles tagged with: Batman 3
Batman 3: Megan Fox IS Catwoman, Unless She Isn’t
It's Cher who we feel most sorry for, of course. We thought that Cher had the Batman 3 Catwoman role all sewn up. But, no, Megan Fox had to waltz in and snatch it from her. Damn you, Megan Fox. What's your Catwoman going to like, huh? All young and sexy, probably. Well that's not good enough - we wanted Batman 3 to feature a doddery 63-year-old Catwoman dressed in a vicar's doily who'd been scientifically reconstructed from scraps of medical waste. And now you've spoilt it, Megan Fox. Because you're the new Catwoman, aren't you? Aren't you? What's that? Probably not? Oh.
It's Cher who we feel most sorry for, of course. We thought that Cher had the Batman 3 Catwoman role all sewn up. But, no, Megan Fox had to waltz in and snatch it from her. Damn you, Megan Fox. What's your Catwoman going to like, huh? All young and sexy, probably. Well that's not good enough - we wanted Batman 3 to feature a doddery 63-year-old Catwoman dressed in a vicar's doily who'd been scientifically reconstructed from scraps of medical waste. And now you've spoilt it, Megan Fox. Because you're the new Catwoman, aren't you? Aren't you? What's that? Probably not? Oh.
Batman 3 Script Online & Rubbish & Almost Definitely Fake
Batman 3 is the film nobody can wait for, if only to see whether Christian Bale has coughed up that hairball yet. But the thing about Batman 3 is, it doesn't exist. It hasn't been cast, it hasn't got a director and nobody's even bothered to design any bat-nipples yet, a legal requirement of any third Batman movie. But there is a Batman 3 script. The internet is abuzz after an eight-page Batman 3 script - apparently by Christopher Nolan and his brother - mysteriously appeared this week. The bad news? It's horrible. The good news? We'll shave our balls on the internet if it's genuine.
Batman 3 is the film nobody can wait for, if only to see whether Christian Bale has coughed up that hairball yet. But the thing about Batman 3 is, it doesn't exist. It hasn't been cast, it hasn't got a director and nobody's even bothered to design any bat-nipples yet, a legal requirement of any third Batman movie. But there is a Batman 3 script. The internet is abuzz after an eight-page Batman 3 script - apparently by Christopher Nolan and his brother - mysteriously appeared this week. The bad news? It's horrible. The good news? We'll shave our balls on the internet if it's genuine.
Batman 3: The Riddler Is… Wait, Eddie Murphy? Really?
First the good news: it seems likely that the Batman 3 casting rumours can end now. Are you ready for the bad news? The bad news is that Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. We've deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy. But it's not all bad, because it's not as if he's also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?
First the good news: it seems likely that the Batman 3 casting rumours can end now. Are you ready for the bad news? The bad news is that Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. We've deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy. But it's not all bad, because it's not as if he's also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?
Batman 3: Christoper Nolan Still Being A Chuffing Tease
The world is dying for Batman 3 - it wants murk, it wants thematic complexity, it wants a superhero with a crappy voice. But most of all, the world wants Christopher Nolan. But since this is Christopher Nolan - a man who once made an entire film about Al Pacino being quite sleepy - he isn't making the Batman 3 talk easy. Promoting The Dark Knight's DVD release, Nolan reiterated that the pressure of following such a huge movie might cause him to foul the sequel up. Well, Christopher, that didn't stop Sam Raimi from making Spider-Man 3, and that was... um, OK, let's move on.
The world is dying for Batman 3 - it wants murk, it wants thematic complexity, it wants a superhero with a crappy voice. But most of all, the world wants Christopher Nolan. But since this is Christopher Nolan - a man who once made an entire film about Al Pacino being quite sleepy - he isn't making the Batman 3 talk easy. Promoting The Dark Knight's DVD release, Nolan reiterated that the pressure of following such a huge movie might cause him to foul the sequel up. Well, Christopher, that didn't stop Sam Raimi from making Spider-Man 3, and that was... um, OK, let's move on.
Batman 3: Phillip Seymour Hoffman Gets Reverse-Psychological
Every single person on the entire planet knows that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is going to play The Penguin in Batman 3. True, there isn't a script for Batman 3 yet, Christopher Nolan hasn't even admitted that he wants to make a Batman 3 three yet and for all we know the movie's going to be about Crazy Quilt or Mr Polka Dot instead of The Penguin. But, that said, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is definitely going to play The Penguin in Batman 3. Except Phillip Seymour Hoffman doesn't really think that's going to happen. In a recent interview Hoffman claimed that he doesn't think he'd be a good Penguin and that someone else should probably do it instead. Which, we think, is a coded message to say that he thinks he'd be a brilliant Penguin in Batman 3 and that he definitely wants to do it. Tell your friends. It's official!
Every single person on the entire planet knows that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is going to play The Penguin in Batman 3. True, there isn't a script for Batman 3 yet, Christopher Nolan hasn't even admitted that he wants to make a Batman 3 three yet and for all we know the movie's going to be about Crazy Quilt or Mr Polka Dot instead of The Penguin. But, that said, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is definitely going to play The Penguin in Batman 3. Except Phillip Seymour Hoffman doesn't really think that's going to happen. In a recent interview Hoffman claimed that he doesn't think he'd be a good Penguin and that someone else should probably do it instead. Which, we think, is a coded message to say that he thinks he'd be a brilliant Penguin in Batman 3 and that he definitely wants to do it. Tell your friends. It's official!
Christopher Nolan To Pull Out Of Batman 3?
The Dark Knight was such a raging success that nobody really knew how Christopher Nolan would ever top it - so it looks like he's decided not to. It's common knowledge that Christopher Nolan hasn't signed on to direct Batman 3 yet, but now we're starting to hear whispers that he's probably never going to make Batman 3, probably because he wants to make loads more weird little films about David Bowie inventing electricity or something. This rumour that Batman 3 will be directed by someone other than Christopher Nolan is actually quite worrying - not only because his work on The Dark Knight took intelligent popcorn hits to a dramatic new level, but also because he apparently wanted Cher to play Catwoman, and who wouldn't want to see a big-haired pensioner wriggling around in a skin-tight latex leotard, right? Right? Hello? Anyone?
The Dark Knight was such a raging success that nobody really knew how Christopher Nolan would ever top it - so it looks like he's decided not to. It's common knowledge that Christopher Nolan hasn't signed on to direct Batman 3 yet, but now we're starting to hear whispers that he's probably never going to make Batman 3, probably because he wants to make loads more weird little films about David Bowie inventing electricity or something. This rumour that Batman 3 will be directed by someone other than Christopher Nolan is actually quite worrying - not only because his work on The Dark Knight took intelligent popcorn hits to a dramatic new level, but also because he apparently wanted Cher to play Catwoman, and who wouldn't want to see a big-haired pensioner wriggling around in a skin-tight latex leotard, right? Right? Hello? Anyone?
More Batman 3: Eckhart Says Two-Face Is Dead Dead Dead
Judging by the ridiculous flurry of Batman 3 speculation lately, you'd be forgiven for thinking that every single human on Earth would a role in it. But hold your horses, buster. Aaron Eckhart isn't going to be in Batman 3. That might sound like common sense, seeing as how his character Two-Face stacked it to death off a building at the end of The Dark Knight, but apparently a handful of internet ninnies have decided that Two-Face didn't die at all, and that both he and his silly voice will return for Batman 3. And that's why Aaron Eckhart has come forward to declare once and for all that Two-Face is definitely 100% dead. But don't worry, disappointed Aaron Eckhart fans - he might not be returning for Batman 3, but copies of his 2007 Catherine Zeta Jones cookery-based romantic comedy No Reservations are still available to buy or rent on DVD. Yes, we thought that'd please you.
Judging by the ridiculous flurry of Batman 3 speculation lately, you'd be forgiven for thinking that every single human on Earth would a role in it. But hold your horses, buster. Aaron Eckhart isn't going to be in Batman 3. That might sound like common sense, seeing as how his character Two-Face stacked it to death off a building at the end of The Dark Knight, but apparently a handful of internet ninnies have decided that Two-Face didn't die at all, and that both he and his silly voice will return for Batman 3. And that's why Aaron Eckhart has come forward to declare once and for all that Two-Face is definitely 100% dead. But don't worry, disappointed Aaron Eckhart fans - he might not be returning for Batman 3, but copies of his 2007 Catherine Zeta Jones cookery-based romantic comedy No Reservations are still available to buy or rent on DVD. Yes, we thought that'd please you.
Batman 3: Johnny Depp Definitely The Riddler, But Probably Not
The Batman 3 casting rumours have so far been numerous and vague, but at least one thing's for certain - Johnny Depp will definitely play The Riddler. That's a stone cold fact. You heard it here first. Why are we so sure that Johnny Depp will play The Riddler in Batman 3? Because Johnny Depp recently briefly mumbled something desperately ambiguous about it possibly being quite fun to maybe play The Riddler during a local radio interview with his band. See? That's means Johnny Depp is definitely going to be The Riddler in Batman 3, which is why we've already started to manufacture a set of Johnny Depp Batman 3 Riddler action figures. OK, admittedly we just got a load of unsold Pirates Of The Caribbean action figures and Tippexed question marks onto their backs but - face it - that's probably what he'll be like in the film anyway.
The Batman 3 casting rumours have so far been numerous and vague, but at least one thing's for certain - Johnny Depp will definitely play The Riddler. That's a stone cold fact. You heard it here first. Why are we so sure that Johnny Depp will play The Riddler in Batman 3? Because Johnny Depp recently briefly mumbled something desperately ambiguous about it possibly being quite fun to maybe play The Riddler during a local radio interview with his band. See? That's means Johnny Depp is definitely going to be The Riddler in Batman 3, which is why we've already started to manufacture a set of Johnny Depp Batman 3 Riddler action figures. OK, admittedly we just got a load of unsold Pirates Of The Caribbean action figures and Tippexed question marks onto their backs but - face it - that's probably what he'll be like in the film anyway.
