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So. Zooey Deschanel has a new show that is being shown on Channel 4 this very night at 8:30 post meridian. Of course, we’ve seen it and it won’t surprise you that we are characteristically unimpressed.
That said, looking on the bright side of any situation, like we uncharacteristically do, we’ve managed to find five things that are good about New Girl (8:30, Channel 4).
And here they are, over the jump and as follows…
Zooey Deschanel is the Prom Queen of the Hipster Ball. She can kinda sing, kinda act and is generally kinda good-looking and kinda nice. Perfect for the hipsters as she never quite looks like she’s really trying.
However, Zooey is quite obviously a giganto-ghoul.
Why? Mainly because she doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage and is getting divorced from her husband – Some Guy – which will absolutely anger God so much that he’ll probably ensure any children she has in the future will all have hunchbacks.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel are probably the most irritating pair on Earth, mainly because we’ve got nothing on them. They seem nice. They seem quite funny. They’re altogether likeable and that makes us mad.
Of course, we hate most of their cloying hipster fans who, this morning, will be getting steamed up ironic NHS spectacles when they learn that the (500) Days of Summer duo have paired up to sing a song together.
And they’ve filmed it. And we’re going to let you watch it if you’re smart enough to click over the jump. Which you’re not. The amount of times we have to actually point that out to you dawdling shitboxes is unreal! Anyway. Video. You’ll like it. Over the jump.
Dark Knight Rises or Batman 3. What are you calling it? Well, judging by the newly released trailer, you could justifiably call it Occupy Gotham. It is fair to say that Bruce Wayne is part of the 1%.
Wisely, Christopher Nolan & Co have decided to tap into the most polite civil unrest yet and, mercifully, thrown some supervillains at it because we demand explosions and people getting punched in the throat.
And, regrettably for us snarks, the film looks like it might be really great. There’s a chance we’ll still give it a bad review though, just to be contrarians.
Catwoman has always been the sexiest of all the superhero/supervillain clan. We say that because all the women who played her in the ’60s were really hot. Not so much Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry. They were snooze-buttons in comparison.
Of course, Catwoman oozed such sex appeal that even Batman fancied her, despite the fact she kept him busy by being a nasty git.
And so, when it was announced that Anne Hathaway was chosen to play her in the forthcoming The Dark Knight Rises, everyone kinda shrugged because she seems too wholesome. Can she pull off that whole S&M thing that Catwoman has? According to the leaked picture of her in her villainous guise (below), it seems not.
2011 appears to be the year of the big budget comic book movie. When it comes to adaptations of graphic novels, we’re being spoiled rotten right now.
Marvel’s first avenger, Captain America has just hit cinemas worldwide, Green Lantern… well, it happened didn’t it… and we’ve been given 3 brand spanking new teaser trailers to salivate over.
New offerings from Batman, Spiderman and The Avengers may well be due soon, but one hero currently not donning his tightest pants in preparation to be thrust back into the spotlight like some weird pervert is Superman.
Now that everyone likes Batman again, after years of thinking he was pretty lame, we as writers must cover every tawdry titbit concerning the imminent film, The Dark Knight Rises. If its anything like the last two, it’ll probably be good, which is irritating for people like us who want to slate stuff.
It’s not all fun on the shoot though, as Anne Hathaway is finding out. Mere days after nearly sparking a stuntman out with butt of a gun, she’s had a different kind of butt-based incident.
Basically, the poor lass showed a little more of her nether regions to the crew as she split open her figure hugging Catwoman suit.
Readers’ Letters: The ‘Tom Hardy Thinks We’re Morons’ Special… Or Does He?
by Michael Park on August 4, 2011 1 Comment
Unfortunately Editor Mof has been forced into mediating a disagreement between two hecklerspray writers which has already seen Kris Silver thrown into a pile of discarded post bags where- unfortunately- his left hand dissolved due to the build up of acid. In hindsight he’ll feel that suggesting to Paul Pencott that he take on the role of Kris’ “business hand” has been his worst professional decision to date.
Nevertheless, while they all engage in a fight to the death, let’s take a look at how many of you have suggested that we die in a fire this week.
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