And part of being a man involves admitting when you do wrong. Which is handy, because another part of being a man involves getting shitfaced on booze and driving around until the police arrest you, which counts as doing wrong.

And Barron Hilton has now done both of these things – he may have been arrested for DUI, but he’s also big enough to plead guilty to it. And now that Barron Hilton has joined the man club, he’s allowed to do all kinds of other man things, like grow a moustache and beat up women. Yay!

Barron Hilton has forever been in his sister Paris Hilton’s shadow. He hasn’t been in as many movies as she has, hasn’t released as many albums as she has and, to our knowledge, hasn’t sucked off a bloke on the internet nearly as much as she has.

But, hey, when it comes to massively irresponsibly drunk driving arrests, Barron Hilton and Paris Hilton and neck and freaking neck. But while Paris Hilton’s DUI arrest ended up with the most hopelessly mismanaged jail sentence in living memory, Barron’s has ended up much more happily. So long as you define staring at the dead as happy, that is.

You see, after Barron Hilton was arrested for DUI and subsequently charged with DUI and possession of a fake license, he decided that he’d take the moral high ground and plead no contest to what breath and blood tests would have conclusively proved anyway. And therefore, as E! Online reports, he pleaded guilty and got off easy:

Hilton was not in court, leaving his attorney, Richard Hutton, to enter the plea to driving under the influence with a blood-alcohol level above the 0.08 percent legal limit and unlawful possession of a false license. To atone for the driving sins, Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner H. Jay Ford sentenced Hilton to three years’ probation, fined him $2,000, suspended his license for one year and ordered him to log time at the L.A. County morgue.

Ah, the old trip to the morgue trick. It’s a classy move by the judge, because only the morgue will teach Barron Hilton that drink driving accidents don’t kill nearly as many people as heart disease or cancer or strokes. But, despite this, the visits should still have the desired effect on Barron Hilton – the inability to sleep due to fear that dead people will start clawing at his feet in bed the second he closes his eyes.

Or maybe it won’t – after all, the sight of withered, lifeless, foul-smelling bodies isn’t anything Barron Hilton hasn’t experienced before. His sister did used to hang out with Nicole Richie a lot, remember.

Read more:

Hilton Bro Mans Up, Cops to DUI – E! Online

Following his arrest last month, Paris Hilton's 18-year-old brother has been formally charged with DUI by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and faces arraignment in April.

It just goes to show how quickly Barron Hilton is becoming his sister. Now that they've both been charged with DUI, Barron only has to be in a shitty reality TV show and wank a bloke off on the internet until he ends up with jizz all over his tits and Barron will have caught up with Paris Hilton completely.

Perhaps it's because they were too busy trying to run a chain of iconic hotels, but the Hilton family don't seem to have done a great job raising their kids. Paris Hilton, of course, everyone knows about. Paris Hilton is a jailbird reality TV star who regularly films herself shagging men and dances with her norks out. Paris' sister Nicky and brother Conrad were raised so poorly that they've yet to develop personalities and wouldn't even recognise themselves if they looked in a mirror.

And then there's Barron Hilton. Barron Hilton has all the classic trappings of a delinquent. He's been raised rich enough not to have any real responsibilities, he's grown up as part of a thunderingly vapid and self-regarding set that routinely validates and celebrates these lack of responsibilities and he's named after the lowest rank in the British peerage system, so you can bet he's as angry as shit about that as well.

Whether or not Barron Hilton is a delinquent remains to be seen, because he hasn't been found guilty of DUI or anything yet. But Barron Hilton has been arrested for DUI and now he's been charged with it as well so, you know, there's a pretty good chance. The Boston Globe reports:

Barron Nicholas Hilton, Paris' 18-year-old brother, was charged yesterday with four misdemeanor counts stemming from his arrest last month on suspicion of drunken driving. Charges include driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs and being an unlicensed driver.

As this is Barron Hilton's first offence, if he's found guilty he'll most likely avoid a jail sentence – at least until the hereditary genetic impulses kick in and he goes and does the exact same thing a week later. 

But even though these are dark days for Barron Hilton, we have no doubt that the old Hilton trait of turning a negative into a positive will help him out. Just as Paris Hilton seized upon her internet sex tape and turned it to her advantage by becoming a reality TV star, then maybe this DUI charge will do the same for Barron Hilton.

And, you know what, we'd watch a Barron Hilton reality TV show. But only because we're eager to see if wears a top hat and a monocle all the time and rides a Shetland pony around his house and beats his servants with a brass-tipped cane whenever they look him in the eye. Because his name and facial expression makes us think that perhaps he does.

Read more:

A Hilton faces DUI rap - Boston Globe 

Honestly, we didn’t think there was anyone left to get a DUI. But we were wrong. Turns out you just have to look to the siblings of other busted drunkards. Like Paris Hilton’s little brother, Barron Hilton, who has gone and gotten himself a DUI.

Oh, and he one upped his sister’s DUI with a fake license. Ha! Take that, Paris. 

Ah, the Hiltons. Once upon a time their family name was synonymous with classy hotels. You know, the kind that you don’t feel the need to call Dateline to come and investigate the bed sheets with blue lights. But nowadays when you hear the name Hilton, you think of a pointlessly famous heiress that has bladder control problems in the back of taxis and is constantly stuck in that arched back cat pose that makes you so aggravated that you want to drop kick yourself into the wall.  

Well, now the Hilton’s can add another shining star to their family crest. Barron Hilton will no longer be known (not that he was known in the first place) as Paris Hilton’s little brother, but as Paris Hilton’s little brother that likes to go for morning drives around Los Angeles while a little bit too drunk. You see, at around 8am yesterday, 18-year-old Barron Hilton was arrested for drunk driving. He was found to have a blood alcohol level of .14 and carrying a fake license.

The exciting part in all of this is not that Barron Hilton was arrested, or that he is underage, or that he might be charged with a felony for having a made-up license, but that a driver following Barron Hilton’s car felt something was a bit off and pulled him out of the car at the next stop to wait for the police to arrive. Wow, someone must have actually watched Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. Steve Guttenberg will not have died in vain! What? He’s still alive? Oh.

Anyway, Barron Hilton need not worry, because if his situation is anything like his sister's he’ll only have to serve about 87 seconds in jail, which he can break up into smaller chunks by getting let out, then put back, then let out and put back a few times, and eventually strut out in a designer jacket and heels. We eagerly await Barron Hilton's interview with Larry King where he doesn't answer any question directly as our minds are slowly rendered useless by crippling boredom.

Read more: 

Paris Hilton's Little Brother Arrested for DUI - People