Paris Hilton’s new MTV reality show ‘Paris Hilton’s My New BFF‘ (best friend forever) is in danger of being axed as casting directors are becoming aware that nobody really gives a shit.

This is no doubt something to do with hecklerspray’s article last week, which confirmed to the masses that anyone who wants to compete to become Paris Hilton’s new BFF is a gargantuan retard.

According to Trans World News, an insider said:

“There were less than 40 people there.”

This isn’t much, but is still enough to fill a modest size room and create a scene not too dissimilar from the one’s found in videos of Hitler’s inbreeding experiments, which – it should be remembered – also failed spectacularly. But who knows, maybe MTV is better organized these days than the Nazis were? They’ve certainly got more power.

Paris says she will “teach” the contestants who make it on the show how to be her BFF. It may be wise for them to also take lessons from Paris’ hitherto most loyal friend:

1) Be cute.

2) Be incapable of speaking sense.

3) Be small enough to fit in a handbag.

Get those three points covered, and you’ll definately avoid the weekly elimination. Paris has said:

“(I want someone I can) trust and not someone who’s going to stab me in the back – it’s happened a lot in this town. Just someone I can have fun with, someone who could be like my sister.”

Someone who could be like your sister, hmmm? Why not just dress up your drink-driving, cabbage-patch-kid-faced brother Baron in one of your wigs? That’s probably your best bet. You’d probably find you have a lot in common, like the shared experience of being the foremost example to the theory ‘all rich kids are worthless dicks’.

You could even have a child together. The nine months it will take you to create your son/daughter/nephew/niece will surely be less painful than the process of seeing this show through to its bitter end.

And if your body was to healthily reject the gene pool prematurely, all you’d have to do is tie a pretty pink bow around its neck, therefore helping it to pass the aforementioned three point plan, and you’d gain yourself another BFF, as well as a play mate for Tinkerbell!

It’s all so obvious when you think about it.

Read More – Paris Hilton Best Friend Show Short On Applicants – TWN