Because it's Christmas time, it's time to wander around the high street like everyone else to try and buy presents for your cherished loved ones.

Well that’s a lie - actually you have to purchase stuff for relatives you see once every three years who still call you Jimmy by mistake and who keep on getting you a Now compilation CD because they think its “cool”. Anyhow, at the end of December your bank balance is as dry as the turkey your mum serves up on Christmas day and you don’t have any money to go out on New Years Eve even though everything is overpriced and generally shit anyway. However, somebody out there has too much money. Instead of lending us a tenner so we can do better than buying supermarket-brand aftershave for our dad, they’ve only gone out and spent $4 million dollars on the JK Rowling book.  

Aside from outing wizards and rolling around naked in a in a dump-truck full of money cackling at God, JK Rowling hasn't found a whole lot to do with her time since she put the finishing touches to Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows.

Actually that's not strictly true - since Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows was completed, JK Rowling has written a set of fairytales. But these are fairytales with a difference, because a) they've been hand-written by JK Rowling, b) they were mentioned in Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows and c) instead of being published they're going to be given away and auctioned off for charity. And they'll be the absolute last word on Harry Potter, except for the last two films, the merchandise, the theme park and the forthcoming sculpture of Harry Potter that JK Rowling is having carved into the moon along with the legend "I'm a lot richer than you, you know. Love JK" written in Garamond - the fanciest font.