Fact, the most infuriating advert on TV at the moment is the Barclaycard one with the waterslide.

Yes, look, wonderful, you can use your contactless credit card anywhere you like, but why have you diverted the waterslide home through a library? It plainly doesn’t make any logistical sense whatsoever. Also, don’t you think that buying food at a supermarket and then transporting it home on your bare chest inside a waterslide is a little bit disgusting? Don’t you? Answer us! DON’T YOU?

So, anyway, that advert is rubbish. This one’s better.

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Hey, look at me, I’ve got a Barclaycard and so life for me is like riding around an entire city on a big waterslide. Yes, I know it’s grossly impractical and would have an adverse effect on the infrastructure of the city if all Barclaycard owners had similar waterslides, but look! Aren’t I cool!

No. We’re going to say no.