Back in ’89, Back to the Future 2 premiered on cinema screens and everyone went wild for hoverboards and his Nike Air Mag. As hoverboards aren’t likely to hit production anytime soon, Nike seem to be toying with the idea of releasing the sneakers to the world.

Wise move. You’ll get ironic buyers and people who just think they’re the bee’s knees. In fairness, self-lacing hi-tops are pretty cool.

Over the jump, you’ll see a video called ‘Marty McFly’s Closet’ which should get you retronauts all giddy for a pair of ‘Air Mags’. So what else should make the leap from fiction to reality?

Before we get going, here’s the video of a stock room filled with Nike Air Mags.

Is it going to excite you to the point where you’ll wet yourself? Do you think it’ll have the little button that clasps them shut around your horrible, stinkin’ feet?

Either way, have a look.

So what other products would we like to see? Of course, we encourage you to get in the comments and tell us what you’d like to see on the shelves.

Big Kahuna Burger

Burgers, by and large, are pretty disappointing. That’s because they’re not unhealthy enough. While people argue the toss over McDonald’s and Burger King (or Wendy’s if you’re lucky enough to live in America), it is clear that the king of burgers is the Big Kahuna Burger. Why? Because Samuel L. Jackson says so while wearing an afro. That’s all the review you need. It is obviously dripping in grease and a heart attack waiting to happen. Perfect.

Skittlebrau

If Fruli and Rekorderlig exist in this world of ours, then why not Skittlebrau? If it’s good enough for a seasoned ale-can like Homer Simpson, then it’s surely good enough for the rest of us. Why Skittles haven’t teamed up with someone to make this obviously delicious summer beverage, we’ve no idea.

The Orgasmatron

Similar to ‘the excessive machine’ in Barbarella, The Orgasmatron is a device from Woody Allen’s Sleeper. Basically, it’s a huge cylinder that you and someone else climb into and… well… you can guess what happens next. Who wouldn’t want one of these in their house?

Suicide Booth

Life is hard. Why muck about chucking yourself off a bridge into oncoming traffic? You might gently land on a traffic jam. Overdose? Seems a bit grotty. And so, Futurama’s ‘Suicide Booth’ would be perfect. Stick in 25 cents and you’re away, crossing to the other side without a care in the world. Marvellous.

Heisler Beer

While many think of Duff as the greatest fictional beer, it is in fact Heisler that takes the crown. Heisler is a fake brand of beer that’s been in TV and film for years. Heisler (available in regular and light) has starred in Malcolm in the Middle, My Name is Earl and, most notably, Denzel Washington offers Ethan Hawke a Heisler in a famous scene in Training Day. It’s the Wilhelm Scream of drinks. The company that invented the brew – ISS – also make Jekyll Island Beer, which starred in Lost.

Anything made by Acme

Acme are, without doubt, the greatest company that never existed. You will have seen them in Looney Toons and they make absolutely everything, and all of it defective. Wile E. Coyote is their biggest customer, but even Elmer Fudd once bought an Acme Wild Cat, who alas, didn’t attack the subject intended. They’ve made sinister parcel wrapping devices, rocket powered roller skates, exploding tennis balls, bat costumes and more. Acme even made the leap from cartoons to other shows, making an appearance in I Love Lucy. Wile. E even sued Acme! Click here to read his lawsuit.

So, what have we missed out? Feel free to demand fictional products in the comments.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!

10 - Public hysteria through history – Time

9 - More slow motion goodness, this time ridiculously beautiful – YouTube

8 - The new Star Trek movie would have been better if any of these aliens had been included – Cracked

7 - The Beatles Rock Band game is quickly becoming the best way for rich idiots to look authentically stupid – Gearlog

6 - Oh, the law. You’re funny – Trutv

5 - The world’s oldest dog is younger than Lindsay Lohan. Dogs are crap - MSNBC

4 - Why Barbarella died. Also, thank goodness Barbarella died – Movieline

3 - Iron Man 2! It exists – Paphotoshelter

2 - Old school computer death the way it should have been – Geekologie

1 - The best thing Guy Ritchie has ever had a hand in (insert Madonna joke here)…

10 – Ladies, this is why you should be grateful that you didn’t start menstruating in 1967…

9 - The Saw movies: the undeniable proof – Best Week Ever

8 - Are they still doing the Barbarella remake? Because, really, it won’t be a patch on this – YouTube

7 - Buy the helicopter from From Russia With Love. No, seriously. Buy it – 007helicopter

6 - American? Then here’s a way to eat for a ridiculously small amount of money. Not American? Back to the bins! - Lifehacker

5 - Now here’s a song – Bedazzled

4 - Chantelle from Big Brother only really has the two facial expressions, doesn’t she – Popsugar

3 - A man getting shot in the bottom with a tranquiliser dart - I Am Bored

2 - Jeeves from Askjeeves does porn now. Ick – Techdigest

1 – Holy Moly’s had a redesign. Mostly it puts our design to shame. Words will be had – Holymoly

They are the women that drive men to warp fact five – the sex sirens of space.

Nothing quite gets you through the dull talk about black holes and plasma shields than the sight of a sexy girl in a spacesuit.

Well, grab hold of your lightsabres because hecklerspray has combed the length and breadth of the galaxy to come up with the hottest girls ever to appear in a sci-fi movie or TV programme.

13. Dana Scully from X Files

The list would not be the same without her.

12. Charlize Theron – Aeon Flux in Aeon Flux

Ok, the film was a huge, steaming pile of turd, but she looked really hot.

11. Jessica Alba – Max Guevera in Dark Angel

Does Dark Angel count as sci-fi? Who cares! It’s Jessica Alba for God’s sake.

10. Natalie Portman – Queen Amidala in the Star Wars prequels

She is the only reason to see the Star Wars prequels.

9. Milla Jovovich – Leeloo in The Fifth Element

We’re not sure if it’s the orange dreadlocks, the dodgy accent or the incredible body, but we certainly enjoyed MIlla time.

8. Jeri Ryan – Seven Of Nine from Star Trek Voyager

There is a part of us that finds this a bit odd. She is half human and half cybernetic drone for crying out loud. But there’s something about a skin-tight grey jumpsuit and a metal eyebrow that really hits the mark. Seven of Nine? More like nine of out 10.

7. Ashley Judd – Robin Lefler in Star Trek Generation

Definitely the sexiest girl ever to appear on the Star Trek: Next Generation. Actually, that’s not that hard. Maybe we need a rethink.

6. Erin Gray – Wilma from Buck Rogers

Possibly a controversial choice, but we do not care. Put it this way, why else would you put up with that stupid, twatting robot? It’s like Lost now. We’ve almost come to hate the fact we’re still watching that heap of dung. But then we see Kate and everything seems okay again.

5. Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica

The second sexiest toaster in Battlestar Galactica.

4. Sigourney Weaver – Ripley in the Alien series

Now there is no doubt that Sigourney Weaver started to look a bit ropey by the end of the Alien franchise – just like the films! But there is something about a girl who can kick the shit out of bad ass, stomach-bursting aliens that really gets the old juices flowing. And let’s face it, you still would.

3. Number Six from Battlestar Galatica

Has a toaster ever looked that sexy?

2. Jane Fonda in Barbarella

It hardly counts as science fiction – more like one big sexual innuendo (maybe it should be called Carry on Up The Black Hole) – but the opening sequence alone makes her a must on this list.

1. Carrie Fisher – Princess Leia in Star Wars trilogy

For anyone who wants to argue, we have two words for you: gold bikini. This writer will never forget the day I went to see Return of the Jedi. I was a fresh-faced nine-year-old boy, but by the time I left, I was a man. Life was never quite the same after that.

Honourable mentions:
Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica
Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix trilogy
Morena Baccarin in Firefly
Monica Bellucci in The Matrix Revolutions

ADVERT