HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Badvertising: Let’s Talk About Genitals

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Here in the hecklerspray bedsit, we’re often told off for using inappropriate words to describe the girls’ genitalia. In fact, there was a time that Matthew Laidlow had to spend three weeks hooked up to a catheter after asking Joanna Bolouri?if he could cop a feel of her “pouch”. After that, Editor Mof came up with some severe guidelines on sexual?harassment?and the bedsit hasn’t been the same since.

The real question is, how do you refer to your genitals? It’s not because we have any real interest in knowing, you understand. We just want to focus on what’s important in this column. We want to focus on the real issues of the day and do that we need to know what you ladies call your vagina.

Okay, we’ll admit it. We don’t know, nor do we want to know.

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The Queen Vic to Set On Fire in Eastenders Tonight And Barbara Windsor Says Goodbye

September 9th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Whoever has been looking after Eastenders lately wants a pat-on-the-back. It’s been one of the most gloriously trashy things ever shown on TV. Lucas The Bad Pastor was fun, but completely obliterated by the fall-down hilarious antics of Phil Mitchell The Crack Head.

Phil – with his brilliantly pink head – has been wobbling around on our televisions, shouting random words in what appears to be the world’s worst (but funniest) impression of Father Jack from Father Ted. All soundtracked by The Who of course.

Most recently, his stint while locked in the back of a van saw Phil Mitchell doing an impression of The Incredible Hulk. “PHIL HIGH! PHIL SMASH!” The supporting cast stood stifling their laughs whilst holding baseball bats. It was astonishing TV.? And it’s with this that we see cornerstone of Albert Square going up in flames.

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