Because of this, Morgan Freeman has become so loved that the American government have decided to step in and honour him at this year’s Kennedy Centre Awards, along with big names such as Barbara Streisand, choreographer Twyla Tharp, a country singer and the members of The Who who haven’t died yet.

Why has Morgan Freeman been chosen for a Kennedy Centre award? Two reasons, really. Firstly Morgan Freeman has left an indelible mark on cinema and has directly influenced American culture. Secondly, by getting caught in a car with a woman that wasn’t his wife, Morgan Freeman has helped invoke the spirit of John F Kennedy better than any other entertainer on the planet.

There is no way that words can possibly do justice to the Kennedy Centre Awards. Since it takes place in Washington before scores of high-ranking politicians, recognition by the Kennedy Centre Awards marks the point in any entertainer’s career when they realise that the hungry rebel inside them has withered and died and been replaced by a podgy establishment figure who’d like nothing more than to jig about for the president whenever they’re told.

More than that, though, the Kennedy Centre Awards provide a chance for the recipients sit and watch while Jessica Simpson murders their best work in front of them and then starts crying as a sort of clever meta-commentary on the ephemeral nature of fame. Truly, it’s very touching.

Anyway, this year’s Kennedy Centre Award winners have just been announced, and they’re certainly a doozy. Rewarded for their contribution to American culture, the winners are:

Morgan Freeman - elderly actor and bad driver. Contribution to American culture – easing white guilt by consistently playing the role of Non-Confrontational Wise Black Man in every film he’s ever made.

Barbara Streisand – singer, actress, world’s oldest Terrahawk. Contribution to American culture – overcharging wildly for concert tickets, the mistaken belief that you’re better than you actually are, providing a brief shelter for Elliot Gould’s otherwise lonely penis.

Twyla Tharp – Dancer and choreographer who’s name sounds like someone saying “Try the Saab” with a mouthful of socks. Contribution to American culture – invented dancing.

The Who – Literally half-dead British rock band. Contribution to American culture – you know at the beginning of CSI: Miami where David Caruso takes off his sunglasses and delivers a godawful pun based on the crime he’s investigating and then the theme-tune starts and a man goes “YAAAAAAAAAAAeahh!” like he’s just trod on some Lego barefoot? Yeah, that.

George Jones - Unremarkable country singer. Contribution to American culture – Frank Sinatra once said he had “The second best voice in America.” Sadly, at the time he thought the best voice in America belonged to Janine Melnitz, the receptionist in the Ghostbusters films. It was the 1990s, he didn’t know what he was doing.

Well deserved, one and all.