You’re familiar with Drake already, aren’t you? Of course you are. You’re totally down with the kids. Well, he’s spent the weekend proving that even people with watch collections have hopes and dreams.

Not content with selling loads of records to over-protective hip-hop fans, Drake is apparently itching to play US President Barack Obama in a movie. It’s the next logical step for a star whose previous acting experience includes, “Guy In Bathroom Mirror” and “Crymaxing On A Webcam”.

The noted Thespian – who collaborated with Rihanna on ‘What’s My Name’, in case you’re still not sure who he is – has revealed that he studies Obama’s mannerisms in case a role comes his way. Which it never will. Ever.

Of course, Drake isn’t the first singer to say that they want to play a famous person in a film. In 2005 Michael Bublé told The Sun that he was in talks to play a member of the Rat Pack in “Frank Sinatra: The Primark Years” while more recently, Lady Gaga told assembled journalists that it was her life’s ambition to play Madonna in a movie of her life.

Speaking to VH1, Drake said:

“I hope somebody makes a movie about Obama’s life soon because I could play him. That’s the goal. I watch all the addresses. Any time I seen him on TV, I don’t change the channel. I definitely pay attention and listen to the inflections of his voice.”

Let’s get the inflections right before we look at anything else. The rapper, known for tracks such as Take Care and Over, is so dedicated to becoming an Obama impersonator that he’s willing to take the advice of professionals.

“If you ask anyone who knows me, I’m pretty good at impressions.”

There’s your first mistake, Drake. Any idiot knows that you don’t ask people who know you if you’re good at something. How do you think we all ended up as writers, living in a hovel and eating our own shoes for sustenance? Exactly.

Okay, so maybe we’re just reacting to Paris Hilton’s new advert as many of our readers react to the sarcasm on these pages – by taking things at face value.

But it would appear that Paris Hilton is indeed running for the presidency of the United States of America. In a video statement released to political hardline site Funny or Die, Hilton responded to the recent campaign ad from John McCain and the Republican party with her own brand of politics.

In the original ad, Paris was likened to Democratic Senator Barack Obama – popular, but ultimately vacuous and easily forgotten (or maybe it was the other way round). It would seem that young miss Hilton didn’t take too kindly to these words and has launched something of a war on the Republican Party, vowing to bring them down if it’s the last thing she does.

Okay, so maybe we’re going a bit overboard – even told a couple of porkie pies. She isn’t trying to bring down the Republican Party. She isn’t actually running for presidency. And Funny or Die isn’t technically a political hardline site.

But she has been involved in a video response, so it’s not all bad news laced with lies.

The video, produced as a direct response to the Republican campaign advert, stars young Paris – and she’s hardly even naked at all, meaning we live in some bizarre world where she can manage to make something that both isn’t a sex tape and is funny. No, instead of committing lewd acts then releasing the video footage for profit, the Simple Life star simply lazes on a sun lounger and puts forth her views on today’s US politics.

Of course, her words come across as if they were completely, totally and utterly written by no one but Paris Hilton herself. No help involved here. No sireee, not with this mastermind at the helm. Definitely. We’d be willing to bet on that.

Alright, so we’re back to lying again.

Nevertheless, the video is quite funny and Paris doesn’t make herself into a complete tit throughout. Frankly, this is nothing short of a genuine miracle, when you take into account the above-mentioned fact that this isn’t even a sex tape. Paris’ credentials for the presidency aren’t that bad either – she is the perfect wife after all and she’s a genius, though she may run some of her voters over if she isn’t careful.

In all honesty though, we at hecklerspray are still waiting for the Britney Spears response to hit the web. Who knows – maybe a career in politics is just the kind of low-stress job Miss Spears needs, as soon as she’s free to roam again? And the combination of high profile work and actual responsibility could put her in good stead to get her kids back from that prat Kevin Federline. Hey – it’s just a thought.

Or maybe it’ll just get ignored and the whole event will be taken exactly as it’s ‘supposed’ to, with people watching, laughing and forgetting. Bah. Watch the video below: