by Stuart Heritage
A momentous, world-shaping thing happened last night – we learnt that you can put a shark into a trance by holding it upside down.
Oh, and also there was something about an election. Or something. Apparently Barack Obama gets to be president of America now, and that’s something we’re putting down to the huge array of celebrities who endorsed him. True, Obama’s lack of top-level experience may be a concern, but Barbara Streisand says he’s OK, and she sang You Don’t Bring Me Flowers. Ergo he’s the best man for the job.
Just don’t tell that to Carrie Underwood. Carrie Underwood has got so sick of hearing celebrity political endorsements that she’s ranted about it to TV Guide. And rightly so – it’s wrong that celebrities get to abuse their position by publicly broadcasting their badly thought-out opinions in the mistaken belief that they’re more important than everyone else. So thank you Carrie Underwood for doing, um, that exact thing.
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by Stuart Heritage
When Barack Obama declined Lindsay Lohan’s recent offer to help out with the whole election thing, he clearly didn’t know what he was getting himself into.
That’s because he didn’t know what a tidal wave of raw outrage he’d provoke from Lindsay Lohan’s millions of adoring fans. Well, OK, not really adoring. And there weren’t millions of them, either. And the term ‘fans’ is pushing it as well, come to think of it.
In fact, the sum of the backlash that Barack Obama has faced after turning down Lindsay Lohan’s offer of help is one email. One email from Lindsay Lohan’s dad. One email from Lindsay Lohan’s dad that wasn’t even directly addressed to Barack Obama and was only written because Lindsay Lohan’s dad is weirdly compelled to make a public comment about Lindsay Lohan every time she even so much as farts because he wants to make up for being a bad father. So, yeah, watch out Obama you big sod.
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