Posts tagged as:

Barack Obama

Scarlett Johansson Gets Off With Sean Penn While President Obama Watches On

You may well think that Scarlett Johansson is the most beautiful woman you’ve even seen, which probably means that you think you don’t stand a chance of ever making out with her. Well you do, because she’s decided to tap a troll-faced Sean Penn. Repeatedly. While Barack Obama watches on. That’s right mingers, Johansson has [...]

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We Need To Know What Musicians Think Of Bin Laden’s Death

by Mof Gimmers

The imagined coalition of ‘The West’ has been uniformly sickened with scenes of whooping rebels, cheering the deaths of Americans in various terrorist attacks. See, The West has a moral highground on this one because, when we go around killing people, we get a note from our mum’s first (or, as they’re officially known, The [...]

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Cher Correctly Calls Donald Trump A ‘Pompous Asshole’

by Mof Gimmers

While Cher may have had a few unsightly blips in the timeline of her life – notably being an idiot with regards to her child’s transgenderness and, far far worse, the ‘Believe’ single – she’s absolutely bang on with her observations about Donald Trump. Sadly, Cher hasn’t gone as far as pointing about that Trump’s [...]

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Julianne Moore To Play Sarah Palin In Movie Probably Called The Most Powerful Village Idiot In The World

by Mof Gimmers

Sarah Palin is a fascinating creature. She’s managed to succeed in life by having little more than a will to rise to the top. Seriously. Very, very little more. She’s not smart, she isn’t a good diplomat but she is determined. And soon, there’s a very good chance she’ll have the codes to blow the [...]

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WEBTHUMP! 7 July 2010

by Stuart Heritage

10 – If you don’t listen to this podcast before the end of the day, you are a helmet – Darkbeige.podbean 9 – The TV hat: sort of amazing, really – Watchwithmothers 8 – Mullets are illegal in Iran. Good. – AmyGrindhouse 7 – Oh go on then: here’s the world’s best ju-jitsu granny – [...]

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WEBTHUMP! September 30 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Want to go to a fancy secret Bee Stings album launch party in London on Friday? You should jolly well ask for an invite here, then – Beestings 9 – Here, have a pretty map of all 13,000 McDonalds branches in America – Geekologie 8 – What’s the highest level of smarm that [...]

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Guff About Videogames – The Let’s Hate Obama (for no reason) Edition!

by Ian Dransfield

President Obama hates videogames – we have a reason to doubt the messiah. Took a while to find one that wasn’t borne out of racism or hatred of being fair to people, but we’ve found one. Sure, it may be grasping at straws to find fault with what he’s saying, and sure it may just [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Obama Vs Fly

by Stuart Heritage

Typical hecklerspray, always three weeks behind the Zeitgeist. Anyway, shut up because this time it’s totally worth it. Remember that time when Barack Obama killed a fly like some sort of ninja? Here’s the game version of that. In Obama Vs Fly, you play the fly. All you need to do is sit on Obama’s [...]

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Susan Boyle Would Rather Do Oprah Than Obama

by Paul Gibson

We apologise to sensitive readers, who may have brought a little bit of acid up when reading that headline.

It’s true, though. It’s been revealed that the beefy Caledonian lady has turned down an invitation to attend a White House party thrown by the new President, while accepting an offer from Oprah Winfrey to appear on her show, alongside Simon Cowell. We’re guessing they’ll be discussing the merits of underwiring in bras, or something.

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