Articles tagged with: Babyshambles
Pete Doherty: Desperate To Get Back To Prison
Mmmm, nothing beats the food at Wormwood Scrubs. Comfortable living facilities, a ready supply of pharmaceuticals and a quaint, gangland atmosphere make the place first choice for musicians on the downward spiral. It's like the priory, but better! If you don't mind people stealing your chocolate pudding or being gutted with a fork, it's a fine and friendly place, like Disneyland for petty gangsters. Solitary confinement can only be a laugh when you've got 12 personalities, a catalogue of wussy tunes and a lot of time to kill.
Mmmm, nothing beats the food at Wormwood Scrubs. Comfortable living facilities, a ready supply of pharmaceuticals and a quaint, gangland atmosphere make the place first choice for musicians on the downward spiral. It's like the priory, but better! If you don't mind people stealing your chocolate pudding or being gutted with a fork, it's a fine and friendly place, like Disneyland for petty gangsters. Solitary confinement can only be a laugh when you've got 12 personalities, a catalogue of wussy tunes and a lot of time to kill.
Pete Doherty/Amy Winehouse Duet A Horrible Possibility
It's great that Amy Winehouse has split up with Blake Fielder-Civil - free of her violent drug-addicted convict husband, she can finally move on. Specifically Amy Winehouse can move onto Pete Doherty - who's a little bit violent, recovering from drug addiction and an ex-convict. Her parents must be so thrilled. But don't worry about a sexual union between Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty, even though any offspring they'd have would probably look quite a lot like the mangled insect/Labrador thing from The Fly 2. Instead, Pete Doherty has expressed his desire to release a duet with Amy Winehouse. Which is worse, obviously, because at least they could lock their deformed babies in an attic or something.
It's great that Amy Winehouse has split up with Blake Fielder-Civil - free of her violent drug-addicted convict husband, she can finally move on. Specifically Amy Winehouse can move onto Pete Doherty - who's a little bit violent, recovering from drug addiction and an ex-convict. Her parents must be so thrilled. But don't worry about a sexual union between Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty, even though any offspring they'd have would probably look quite a lot like the mangled insect/Labrador thing from The Fly 2. Instead, Pete Doherty has expressed his desire to release a duet with Amy Winehouse. Which is worse, obviously, because at least they could lock their deformed babies in an attic or something.
Amy Winehouse: Now There’s Another Amybanger
We'll say this about Amy Winehouse - sure, she might look as if she's woefully incapacitated by heavy drug use, but she sure can put it around. After reports emerged that she's been cheating on incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil with a dull-looking boy and a lank-haired photographer, now it's claimed that Amy Winehouse has also been secretly sleeping with one of Babyshambles as well. Don't worry, though - the good news is that Amy's new lover isn't Pete Doherty, sparing us all a mental image so profoundly upsetting that it'd put us off all human contact ever again. But the bad news is that it's Mik Whitnall, the member of Babyshambles who most closely resembles Bez's grandfather after three straight months of 24-style interro-torture.
We'll say this about Amy Winehouse - sure, she might look as if she's woefully incapacitated by heavy drug use, but she sure can put it around. After reports emerged that she's been cheating on incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil with a dull-looking boy and a lank-haired photographer, now it's claimed that Amy Winehouse has also been secretly sleeping with one of Babyshambles as well. Don't worry, though - the good news is that Amy's new lover isn't Pete Doherty, sparing us all a mental image so profoundly upsetting that it'd put us off all human contact ever again. But the bad news is that it's Mik Whitnall, the member of Babyshambles who most closely resembles Bez's grandfather after three straight months of 24-style interro-torture.
Pete Doherty To Continue Making Awful Music In Prison
When shambling oxygen-thief Pete Doherty was recently thrown into prison for the grand total of 14 weeks, hecklerspray felt a murmur within our hearts - a rare glimmer of optimism, if you like. With P-Doh locked away, we reasoned, surely this would see a brief end to his staggeringly bad musical output? Hell: at least it'd be a long enough hiatus to ensure his fans became obsessed with something more entertaining - like watching a puppy slowly suffocate or listening to the mechanical vibrations of the Phillips X300 Bathroom Extractor Fan (man, when that third whirr cycle kicks in, it's just awesome). Alas, it was not to be. In a statement that has devastated the ear-owning community, Doherty has decided that prison life won't stop him churning out his sixth-form garbage. Mind you, seeing as prisons are essentially rife with drug abuse, violent assault and general hopelessness and despair, a couple of new Babyshambles tracks might make the ideal soundtrack.
When shambling oxygen-thief Pete Doherty was recently thrown into prison for the grand total of 14 weeks, hecklerspray felt a murmur within our hearts - a rare glimmer of optimism, if you like. With P-Doh locked away, we reasoned, surely this would see a brief end to his staggeringly bad musical output? Hell: at least it'd be a long enough hiatus to ensure his fans became obsessed with something more entertaining - like watching a puppy slowly suffocate or listening to the mechanical vibrations of the Phillips X300 Bathroom Extractor Fan (man, when that third whirr cycle kicks in, it's just awesome). Alas, it was not to be. In a statement that has devastated the ear-owning community, Doherty has decided that prison life won't stop him churning out his sixth-form garbage. Mind you, seeing as prisons are essentially rife with drug abuse, violent assault and general hopelessness and despair, a couple of new Babyshambles tracks might make the ideal soundtrack.
Babyshambles Unfortunately Not Splitting Up
Anyone who teaches in a public school sixth-form might have noticed a look of worry in the eyes of some of their dimmer students recently.
Reports were rife, you see, that walking Hancock's Half Hour audition Pete Doherty was all set to abandon his band Babyshambles, leaving a couple of trilby-wearing Shoreditch chancers out of a job and legions of simpering twats looking for another piss-poor musical collective to bizarrely label as 'genius'.
Those aforementioned teachers will probably be noticing a new-found gleam in those peepers, however, as it transpires that the rumours were simply those: rumours. Babyshambles, as has now been confirmed by their needle-addled frontman, are not going to split up after all.
