Avatar, right? Two and a half hours of some big smurfs dicking about in an enchanted forest, right? Right?

Who’d want to see that? Who’d want to see Michelle Rodriguez and that bloke who’s in everything even though he’s not very good twonking around through a pair of uncomfortable 3D glasses that make you want to vomit everywhere? Two and a half hours of that and then Leona Lewis comes along to punish you with a sodding power ballad at the end. Avatar is going to be crap.

Except maybe it isn’t. A bunch of people have already seen Avatar. And apparently it’s quite good. We’ve never been so disappointed.