It’s okay everybody, you can relax, there’s no more need to worry, Kevin Federline is fine.
We know, you were scared that K-Fed might be taken from us too soon, but we’re pleased to announce that all is well with Britney’s Baby Daddy and he didn’t actually suffer a heart attack that none of us would have cared about.
Federline was hospitalised earlier this week after he collapsed whilst filming a weight loss show in Australia, he was quickly rushed to hospital along with the paramedics who had initially tried to lift him onto the stretcher.
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Not a lot has ever really happened in Australia. Since that awkward event with Dorothy and the wizard who controls all of the inhabitants in Oz, there hasn’t been much to sing and dance about.
Unless you count cracking open a warm tins of Fosters and being distrustful of the indigenous aboriginal folk, Australians have little to look forward to.
However, in a hecklerspray exclusive, it’s been revealed to us that the Australian government are about to allow the population to listen to something other than INXS. Australians were told Michael Hutchence died from natural causes; not through an accidental self-pleasure mishap. So which world famous musician or band has been allowed to fly in and showcase their talents? We’ve been told that Lee Ryan and Muse were busy, so YouTube sensation Rebecca Black has been booked instead.
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John Travolta, who looks alarmingly like Ke$ha, has had a baby. Of course, he hasn’t developed a womb and birthed the thing himself. If that were the case, the headline wouldn’t be quite so dismissive. Naturally, it is his wife Kelly Preston who squeezed the child out of her front bum.
If you’re interested, the child is a boy and they’ve called him Benjamin and he was born in a Florida hospital weighing 8 lbs. 3 oz.
Of course, both the parents are tremendously happy and all that hokey junk, but we’re more interested in his future, which will no doubt be riddled with jealousy of another celebrity child. Read More >>>
For many people, their interest in John Travolta began and ended with his starring role in the disco-dancing, parent-upsetting, tight-panted 1970s movie Saturday Night Fever.
These people have no desire to learn more about The Trav’s later career as a man looking after a talking baby, or a man who carries around a briefcase full of Christmas lights, or a man who swaps faces with the wooden-faced Jodie Foster impersonator Nicholas Cage.
But we can’t all be rational adults with problem-strewn lives of our own and no time for monitoring the affairs of yesteryear’s celebrities. Read More >>>
Nicole Kidman, of who it’s long been known hates all cultures except that one from wherever she’s from (we think its Iceland), absolutely hates everything about Australia.
She hates Australia’s Outback, she hates Australia’s kangaroos, and perhaps most perplexing of all, she only has nice things to say about the country’s gaping ozone hole. THAT THING IS KILLING PEOPLE, NICOLE!
The final alleged anti-Australian blow that Kidman’s PR people should really get on is the way she hates Aborigines and all they stand for – especially their musical instruments that are sacredly reserved for the lips of men, but that she likes to puff on anyway.
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When it comes to the anti-gay slur, there’s perhaps no greater master than Jerry Lewis – the man is nothing short of a maestro.
Just over a year since Jerry Lewis last got into trouble for airing his uniquely fruity views on homosexuals during a live telethon, he’s done it again. This time, Jerry Lewis managed to offend all the gays in the world while in Australia, where he told a reporter that cricket is “a fag game.”
Obviously that’s a completely outrageous thing to say, and it’s obvious why so many people have reacted to Jerry Lewis’ comment with horror. By calling cricket a fag game, Jerry Lewis has displayed not only a casual intolerance of homosexuals but also a huge lack of education – cricket isn’t a fag game at all. It’s a crap game that only turds enjoy. Again, cricket is a crap game that only turds enjoy.
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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
The Bunyip is an Australian legend that started with the Aborigines, and was subsequently spread among the white settlers. It’s been physically described as looking a thousand different ways – having everything from horse parts to tentacles.
At one point a skull of the creature was thought to be found, and when science at the time could not definitively identify it – it looked like the legends were all too true.
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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. The Bunyip is an Australian legend that started with the Aborigines, and was subsequently spread among the white settlers. It’s [...]
