HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Beyonce Has Fake Baby Inside Her While Surrogate Suffers. Possibly.

October 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Oh look at you, all pleased for Beyonce and Jay-Z for growing a lickle baby waby inside her. It’s amazing isn’t it? She’ll go from Best Woman In The World to Shoving Stupid Pictures Of Her Spawn All Over Her Stupid Facebook in one felled swoop.

Of course, if you’ve been gawping at her, you will have noticed that she has been showing something of a baby bump off. This is so we can all coo about her pregnancy glow, right?

Well, rumour has it that, while she is indeed waiting on a baby, she’s not pregnant at all! NOT PREGNANT AT ALL. So what’s the muttering?

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Cops Pull Switchblade On Solange Knowles’ Gigantic Banana

August 30th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

How was your bank holiday weekend? Chances are, it wasn’t nearly as eventful as Solange ‘Beyonce’s Sister’ Knowles… unless of course, you’re always having policemen stab your giant banana with a switchblade.

Of course, in America, it is tradition to carry a humongous banana with you when you’ve found out you’re going to be an auntie (Beyonce is having a baby. Haven’t you heard? Expect a horrible ‘motherhood’ LP in the near future).

However, Miami police (the same ones that fished Sean Kingston’s nearly-dead body out of the water not too long ago) haven’t heard of this tradition and promptly tried to stab the banana, thinking it was some dreadful Godzilla thing about to rampage through the city.

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