Audrina Partridge loves animals – her surname is a type of animal, plus she stars in The Hills and some animals live on hills.

But Audrina Partidge does love animals. And, as a reality television star, Audrina Partridge is also the sort of person who’d probably massacre her family if it meant she’d get a headline from it. So combine the love of animals and the compulsive attention-seeking and what do you get? That’s right – a new PETA campaign where Audrina Partridge gets to strip.

Not strip naked, mind you. In that respect, Audrina Partridge thinks that animals can piss off.

Think PETA and what comes to mind? No, not the sight of Mickey Rourke ordering you to tear the gonads off your household pets with your bare fists, because that’s weird. No, what comes to mind is the slogan ‘I’d rather go naked than wear fur’.

It’s been a fairly successful slogan – as well as allowing us to see what several on-the-wane female celebrities look like nude, it’s also the only way you can see Kardashian flesh without possessing a subscription to an adult website or an incredibly unresponsive gag reflex. But it’s time that the slogan got retired. Because ‘I’d rather go naked than wear fur’ is good, but ‘I’d rather wear my pants and a bra and an impractically large set of feathered wings than do something nonspecific about petshops or something’ is great.

And that’s why Audrina Partridge from The Hills can now be seen on a PETA poster holding a dog while dressed like the sort of slutty angel who’d probably suck you off if you told her that you preferred her to Heidi Montag. We’ll let MTV explain the technicalities:

The Peta ad is urging people to adopt animals rather than buy them. Audrina said: “I wanted to get involved with PETA because I’ve always been passionate about animals, and I think this is a great way to make people and all my fans aware of all the animals that need a home.” She added: “you should adopt, so go to an animal shelter and rescue a dog.”

It does sort of make sense, we’ll admit. But ultimately the PETA campaign is flawed, and here’s why – although being told to rescue rather than buy a dog is good advice, being told to rescue rather than buy a dog by one of the stars of The Hills is terrible advice. Everyone knows that the best way to get through life is by doing the exact opposite to what anyone from The Hills does. So, with that in mind, we’ve just bought 15 dogs from an online petshop. Don’t worry, we gave them a false address. We hate animals.

What’s the moral of all this? God knows, but we suspect it’s something like ‘Audrina Partridge won’t get naked for the sake of animal cruelty, but she will get naked for a handful of grubby coins and an insincere promise of fame from a sleazy photographer’. Or whatever.

Incidentally, anyone worried that all the feathers on Audrina Partridge’s massive set of angel wings sits awkwardly with PETA’s pro-animal agenda should relax. Apparently all the birds that were killed and plucked for the poster had been caught eating meat by PETA activists, and therefore had to die. Probably.

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